Bridal Party question

I can’t think of a nice way to bring up that she isn’t in your wedding party. She will find out on her own.

She will figure it out on her own. I imagine that being a very awkward conversation.

You didn’t promise her anything so i don’t think a specific conversation needs to be had unless she specifically asks you.

I wouldn't tell her she's not a bridesmaid. You really don't need to say anything to her about this in general unless she confronts you directly

Let her find out on her own because that would be awkward to just go to someone and say hey your not in my wedding like the conversation wouldn't end well without someone feeling emotional.

I’d let her find out in her own. I think it would be awkward, and in the end more hurtful, if you told her. Letting her figure it out on her own is fine.

I asked a girl to be a bridesmaid and she happily said yes. I didn’t think it was necessary to make a speech explaining why she wasn’t the moh. But later she threw a huge tantrum and it was awful. So I’m not sure what’s best 🤷‍♀️.

There’s no nice way to tell her she isn’t a bridesmaid, but if you guys have been drifting apart lately maybe she’ll see it coming

I don’t think it would be a good idea to tell her she’s not in the wedding. If you’ve been drifting apart, she shouldn’t be surprised. But if she’s going to cause drama over it, telling her in person isn’t going to stop that.

View Quoted Comment

Yea thats why I'm torn. Like I don't want her to think I wasn't considering her feelings..but i also don't wanna rub salt in a wound....

View Quoted Comment

That's a good point. If she'll cause drama she'll do it either way. Thank you!

Thank's so much for the advice everyone!

Hi, I'm kinda late to the conversation here but I had a similar situation with one of my friends - and I decided to tell her before she heard it from someone else.

We were best friends (literally best, "call-to-move-a-body" best friend) for about 3 years until about a year ago (around the same time my now-fiance and I started dating). We drifted apart and I started to really see her true colors in the last year or so in the way she has treated other 'friends', myself and my fiance included. Long story short, I didn't feel right having her as a bridesmaid because of these things, but since we were very close for a long time (and I got the feeling she was expecting to be asked to be a maid), I decided to tell her in person. I'm not confrontational at all, but I knew she would be hurt if she found out from someone else that she wasn't going to be standing in my wedding. I sent her a very gentle, explanatory text and said that we could chat about it if she wanted to, which we did. We had a follow-up conversation in person and she was understanding of my decision.

I think it really just depends on your relationship with the girl, and how she personally would respond to being told by you vs hearing somewhere else. I hope this helps, or at least provides a different perspective. Good luck!

Honestly, I have a friend who I used to be super close with and we’ve drifted but I also think she expected to be in the wedding. It probably wasn’t nice, but I’m just letting her find out on her own. But I do have a speech planned if she asks about it.

I wouldn't bring it up unless she does.

You should never approach someone saying “hey, I’ve decided you’re not going to be XYZ” ... can you imagine how awkward that would be for her? If she asks you about it you can nicely explain why

I wouldn't bring it up, you really don't owe her an explanation. I would have a response prepared in case she asks you about it though.

I wouldn't say anything... I had a friend that I didn't ask (because we aren't as close as we used to be and I wanted a small bridal party).