Bridal Party issues

Im so sorry you are going through this! First, I would decide if you really want people who are negative towards you standing next to you on what will most likely be the most important day of your life (and in pictures forever). If you decide to have them, then they should understand that your sister is family and will be your MOH. If they don't understand, then you might want to rethink their role in your wedding. They are making it about them when this whole process is all about you and your FH. Hope this helps!

1.) You should just let them find out naturally. Obviously if you don't ask them to be your MOH, they will get the hint. I don't think you need to have a conversation to tell them that their assumptions are wrong.

2.) You already asked them to be in your wedding party. Unless you're fine with losing these friendships permanently, you should avoid kicking them out. Talk to them about the drama and let them know that you want no part of it. I think you're skipping a lot of steps and just jumping to kicking them out.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the advice, definitely helping!!

View Quoted Comment You have a really good point!! Thanks for the outside point of view!!

I'm sorry this is happening. I had a lot of drama with my bridesmaids as well so I totally understand what you are going through.

1. I wouldn't say anything to them. They will obviously realize they aren't the maid of honor when they aren't asked. You shouldn't have to explain to them who you picked and why. It is your decision so once they find out don't let them make you feel bad.

2. If you have already asked them to be in the wedding then there really isn't a good way to remove them from the wedding without causing permanent damage to your friendships. If you haven't already asked them then I probably wouldn't because it sounds like they would just add more drama to your day. I had three girls drop out of my wedding and I'm not friends with any of them anymore. One was even supposed to be my maid of honor.

3. I'm not really sure what you are asking. If your fiance has 6 groomsmen that's totally fine. You don't need to have the same number of groomsmen as bridesmaids. It appears your wedding is still over a year away so I wouldn't have asked anyone already as relationships can change a lot during that time.

I wouldn't tell them. I think the default is usually to chose siblings anyways if you are close to them. I would be surprised if they were mad about that..

Just let them find out like the PPs said! If you don't ask them, they can't be MOH so they'll figure it out!

View Quoted Comment I haven’t officially asked them but it’s definitely something we have always talked about and even within the last year but knowing of how they are in the back of my mind, I told them I was going to make anything official until it was closer to the wedding

View Quoted Comment Hopefully lol

It's their fault to assume something like that. No need to break the news to them. As others said, they'll find out. As for the drama - definitely don't have them apart of your wedding day if they talk bad about you and don't think highly of you. You don't want to regret who you had standing next to you on such a big day. And I don't think the uneven wedding party is that big of a deal. It can be annoying for aesthetic purposes but my fiance is having 1 best man, 3 groomsmen and I'm having 2 MOH's - so I'm ok with things being a little off! lol

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I would go with your gut instinct. You are obviously concerned about having those two girls in your wedding party so I personally wouldn't. Weddings are enough drama without having to worry about your friends getting along. A girl had gone to school with and was really good friends with I asked to be in my wedding even though I had concerns because she has always been really flaky. My former best friend who was also friends with his girl concerned me she would fine. The day before we were supposed to go dress shopping I learned she couldn't make it because she forgot to take off work and we planned the entire trip around her because she was the only one who worked weekends. She also suddenly didn't have money to buy a dress and might not even make it to the wedding so she dropped out. My former best friend also dropped out a month later then I found out she was badmouthing my husband and I to friends and family. I should have listened to my gut instinct and never asked the one to be in my wedding. I would just stick with having your just sister. These two "friends" of yours honestly don't sound like real friends if they are badmouthing you. I wouldn't want something like that standing up with me for my wedding. Bridal parties don't need to be even. The other option would be to pick other people you are close with. I had my husband's sister as a bridesmaid since we are really close. I also had my brother as a bride's man. My husband's female best friend was on his side. He already had everyone wanted on his side and I'm close with my brother so I included him on my side. You can have anyone you want. It doesn't have to be gender specific. My brother-in-law's wife had 3 girls and 3 guys on her side because that's who her closest friends are.

1) You are choosing your SISTER to be your MOH. It's not like you are choosing one friend over the other, so telling them (or having them find out) shouldn't be a big deal.

2) Don't worry about having an even (or even similar) number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Every bride I have every spoken to who altered her number of maids so that it would be similar to her partners has regretted it. It's more important the people who are beside you on your big day are the people you want there, whether that means a few people or a lot of people. I have having my MOH and no other bridesmaids, and my FH is having between 2-4 groomsmen.

I think my advice is going to be a bit contrary to what everyone has said. I am a very blunt, not wanting to sugar coat or beat around the bush kind of gal and basically, I tell it like it is so there will be no drama, no confusion or misunderstandings. I feel that when people aren't firm with what they want or expect and they kinda wait for things to iron itself out, it seems kinda passive aggressive or like your a bit afraid to say what you mean etc. This is your wedding day, you deserve the happiness and stress free experience as much as you possibly can. With that being said I will speak on my experience. 1. I am not allowing anyone who will potentially Rob me of my peace on my wedding day be in the wedding party. The first sight of drama and I changed my mind of them being in it. 2. I spoke to everyone in a meeting like get together, what role I'd like for each person to play, that way there is no confusion of who is a bridesmaid or a maid of honor... If you feel that it would be a bit intimidating or fear that they will find you telling them that they are not the maids of honor, maybe try a creative and nice way to give each person in something like a wedding party proposal expressing "will you be my bridesmaid"? Or something subtle but not rude? Your sister as your maid of honor is wonderful!! It's a blessing that you are close with your sister and that she will be beside you to share your special day, this is something you should be able to share with everyone including them and I feel for you that you are wary about telling them. You made the choice that works best for YOU no need to feel guilty about that. If they have an issue with your sister being your maid of honor, I'd reevaluate your friendship with them.

View Quoted Comment I second this.