We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

Gabby
Savvy October 2021

Bridal Party Issues

Gabby, on December 30, 2020 at 8:03 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 20
Saved Save
Reply
So how do I form a bridal party when I don't really have any friends? Between the pandemic and graduating college in April I no longer have any close friends. The only people i talk to are people I reach out to. I've been trying to make a point to stay in contact with old friends, but it's very one sided usually. I miss them all and try but not much happens. My fh will easily have his 5 best friends. Has anyone been in the same position or have any advice? Tbh I've always felt like I was a convenient friend to most people.

20 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on January 13, 2021 at 10:04 AM
  • L
    Dedicated September 2021
    Lw ·
    • Flag
    Don’t have a bridal party. They can be expensive, can be drama, and don’t really serve a function. If you wanted a bridal party, ask family (his and yours). Message me anytime you need support!
    • Reply
  • Gabby
    Savvy October 2021
    Gabby ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thanks so much! I'm totally fine with uneven sides but I'd hate for him to have no one because of me. Or him have 5 people and I have none. That would be weird also.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    Friendship sadly do change through life and if you don't have a lot of close friends that you would like to share the day with then as the previous person said you don't need a bridal party or you can just have one good person. Is there anyone in your family guy or girl that you would love by your side?
    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated September 2021
    Lw ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I think the family route or even having the groomsmen sit down or half on his side/half on yours would be the best option. You can also try bumble BFF or other things to make new friends!
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    I don't have a lot of friends either so most of my bridal party consisted of family. I am very close with my brother and sister so both of them were on my side. My brother's wife was also a bridesmaid. I am also close with my husband's sister so she was also a bridesmaid. I had one friend who I met through my husband. She is the wife of one of his groomsmen and we are good friends. Is there any family members you'd want to include?

    • Reply
  • Gabby
    Savvy October 2021
    Gabby ·
    • Flag
    I'm not best friends with my siblings but I like them pretty well lol. I've thought about friend apps. I don't really feel like my coworkers are anything more than acquaintances. I'm not sure how to make friends outside of school and work, especially in a covid world. Having his groomsmen sit down could also work I think.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I recommend you don't have a bridal party or if you do, it includes female relatives who you are close to.
    • Reply
  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Unfortunately friendships change over time. Not everyone is a true friend. If you really don't have anyone including close relatives, it is ok to not have attendants. It's better to not have anyone stand with you than someone who is there out of obligation and isn't there to support you because they want to.


    Alot of people I know have made friends via apps such as Tumblr for various fandoms..movies, tv, etc and they say they're as close as any "in person" acquaintance.
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Expert May 2021
    Stacey Online ·
    • Flag

    Wedding parties are totally optional! Your attendants should be selected based on your closest relationships, not just place fillers because you think you "need" to have a bridal party. It's totally okay not to have one. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Devoted May 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    I am not having any girls but my fiance will have 2-3 guys up with him . No big deal
    • Reply
  • W
    Expert September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    I'd have your siblings be your bridal party. A friend once told me that sisters are always first for bridesmaids.
    • Reply
  • Pia
    Expert May 2021
    Pia ·
    • Flag

    Hi Gabby!

    Who says you have to have a bridal party? I attended a wedding a few years back that their was a flower girl ring bearer and the best -man and no bridal party. Parents were the witnesses.. And I have also attended weddings that had absolutely no party at all. Why ask people to just ask. It is not a law... A wedding is about the two of you joining in matrimony... The bridal party is fan-fare and an extra expense... Happy planning!!

    • Reply
  • Cassi
    Devoted July 2022
    Cassi ·
    • Flag
    Oh no! I’m sorry you feel like that I hate to hear that!! I’ve been struggling with what to appoint the few friends I do have that are in our wedding. I could only imagine feeling convenient, you don’t want to share your most special days with people if that’s how your friendship is, you know? I have read things and it’s very important to consider the people you include in your wedding and to be sure they’re going to be around for years to come. You don’t want to look back on mentored and regret any decisions or feel any sadness of things went differently after the wedding. What about family are you close with any? 🙂
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I can understand the type of pressure you have in feeling like you need one because your husband will have one. but like others here have said, it's ok not to.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Super August 2021
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Do you have an siblings or family members you can ask? I was in the same situation, I didn't have any close friends to ask. So I asked my fiances 2 sisters, and my 2 brothers girlfriends (they've each been together for like 5 years and I talk to them quite a bit) to be my bridal party. My wedding is in August, so far I'm pretty happy with my decision. It is perfectly fine to have no one though.
    • Reply
  • Aubrianna
    Dedicated January 2022
    Aubrianna ·
    • Flag

    Dear Gabby,

    I was kind of in the same boat when I got engaged. We had moved from Texas and were living in New York for 3 years before we came back. I have one great friend that is my MOH, however I was a bit stumped when it came to picking out any one else. What made it even more intimidating is that my FH has five, and if he could would have closer to ten. After a year back, I ended up asking my FH's sister and one of my FH friend's girlfriends who have been really nice since we've been back in Texas.

    My mother and grandmother scoff at the fact that it's disproportionate, but what am I supposed to do about it? I'm not going to ask my FH to leave a lot of important people out of this day. Especially since our wedding will be so small and I'm doing EVERYTHING planning-wise and I want him to be able to complain to someone if he needs toXD

    I'm really grateful for my small group of girls, however they've already had a lot of ups and downs both about the wedding and about personal bologna. I usually try to stay out of it, but everyone ends up getting mad at me for not taking their side when we shouldn't be fighting in the first place.Smiley ups If I could, I might as one of my close cousins to be a bridesmaid as well, but she lives quite far and

    There are pros and cons to having both a large and intimate wedding party; or none at all. In retrospect, I kind of wish I had just kept it in between the bride and groom. Having said that, I know we'll have a good time together... I hopeSmiley shame

    Thank you for your post! I look forward to seeing what everyone else has to say!

    Aubrianna Abbema

    • Reply
  • Jeanette
    Expert July 2021
    Jeanette ·
    • Flag
    Maybe your FH can choose just one very best groomsman or you can pick family? Honestly you could even pick your mom as Matron of Honor?


    I wouldn't feel bad. I'm definitely NOT saying something bad about people who have these giant wedding parties (sometimes they have a lot of sisters already and a lot of friends)... But it's not really normal as a working adult to have THAT many people you're close to. I'm having four or maybe five. A childhood friend who I don't see a lot due to distance but we love seeing each other once a year or so, my SIL because I have a small family and she's cool, two close friends from when I worked in one city, one close friend from the city I work in now.
    Don't worry about the closeness of your friends right now, people's lives change and will continue to change and it's normal to have friendships that are more go with the flow to fit our adult lives. Just because you don't feel super close with those friends right now doesn't mean it'll necessarily be one-sided forever. Maybe they're going through a phase. Or maybe not! But you'll be OK. 😊
    • Reply
  • M
    Super January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I feel like you might be thinking about this a little backward. Brides and grooms choose their attendants because they have people in their lives who they can't imagine getting married without. If there are no such people in your life, then you simply won't have any attendants. I strongly urge you not to pick people just to fill arbitrary roles. That will lead to so much unnecessary stress and heartache.

    I agree it's very difficult to make friends during this pandemic, and if you have moved away from old friendships, it's reasonable to feel lonely. But try to separate the feeling of wanting to make friends from wanting to have people standing next to you at your wedding. Continue trying to make connections because of what that will add to your life, but don't have a goal of making friends just so you can have bridesmaids.

    • Reply
  • Gabby
    Savvy October 2021
    Gabby ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah that was never my intention. Obviously I'm not going to fill these spots with random people. The post was mostly seeking advice for people who haven't really had people to fill in a bridal party.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Savvy October 2022
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    This is a tough one. I would ask your FH if he could still have his friends get ready with him, but have them seated and not necessarily have them in the processional or do introductions at the reception. I think if I were you, I would feel some type of way if my FH had 5 guys standing beside him at the altar and I didn't have anyone. I think it's better to have the two of you up there and let his guys have a reserved row at the front, but not standing with him so there isn't such a stark difference. If it was the difference between you having two people and him having 5, I'd say it's no big deal (each bridemaid gets 2 groomsmen, 1 on each arm!) but for him to have so many and you to have no one doesn't seem right.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles