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Just Said Yes June 2020

Bridal Party / Family Etiquette

Sara, on August 16, 2019 at 9:17 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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Hey guys, so question on whether to ask my future SIL to be a bridesmaid.

I know it's good etiquette to ask, but my FH comes from a family of 7 brothers and the one sister, so he's not asking any of his brothers to be groomsmen because he'd then have 13 groomsmen and we both feel that's too many. We were still going to involve them in the wedding just in a different way.

I'm asking my two sisters to be bridesmaids and two of my friends, so I'll have 4 bridesmaids and FH will have 7 groomsmen. I'm not particularly close with her, but we get along and I was planning to ask her daughter to be a flower girl.

On one hand, it would be nice to ask her and it would kind of even up the bridesmaids/groomsmen, but is it weird if she's part of the wedding party and the brothers are not? Any suggestions/advice?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on August 16, 2019 at 2:06 PM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on August 16, 2019 at 9:46 AM
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Do you think his brothers would be upset by that? It's really up to you who you want in your bridal party. I had my SIL, but I'm also friends with her, so it wasn't really a question for me.
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Dedicated November 2020
DitchingDiaz · on August 16, 2019 at 9:47 AM
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I think it's perfectly fine since the brothers will be involved in some other way! Plus I find that men/brothers generally don't really care either way LOL. This way with her as a bridesmaid, you involve the sister and then the boys can be involved in some other way (:
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on August 16, 2019 at 10:02 AM
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There’s absolutely no etiquette that says being family guarantees you a spot in the bridal party. None of the other siblings matter. Are you close to her? Is she one of your nearest and dearest friends? That’s the only thing you need to take into consideration,
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 16, 2019 at 10:42 AM
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It's ok if the brothers aren't. But it also doesn't sound like you're particularly close to her either.
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Super September 2019
Kim · on August 16, 2019 at 11:42 AM
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My brother is not a groomsman and future SIL is not a bridesmaid. We are keeping it small and simple. Nobody complained.
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Lady · on August 16, 2019 at 12:56 PM
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That's not an etiquette thing at all. If you're not close and you'd rather not ask her - don't.
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Expert July 2019
Mary · on August 16, 2019 at 1:00 PM
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It would be a sweet gesture if you are already close, but I don't think there is any obligation to do so. For my wedding party, I only chose the people I was closest to. My husband doesn't have any sisters but does have two SILs. There was no expectation from either side that they would be standing with me, even though their husbands (my now-BILs) were standing on the other side.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 16, 2019 at 2:06 PM
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Your bridal party should only be your closest friends. You're under no obligation to have FSIL as a BM unless you really want her to be one!
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