Bridal party conflict

No, you are not a terrible person for not changing your date. Keep the date you chosen and let her know that unfortunately, June is not a good month for you and FH.

Personally, I would never ask someone to change their wedding date to accommodate my schedule.

Finding a date that works can be tough. Did you and your FH talk to your VIPs prior to setting one? While you won't be able to accommodate everyone, if there are certain people you really want there, you may want to take their schedules into consideration.

Absolutely not! I understand her not wanting to travel alone with a baby, but it is completely unreasonable of her to ask you to change your wedding date just so it'll be easier for her. She has 10 months to figure that out. It's your wedding and you should have it when you want it!

We didn't really think there would be issues considering it's so far in advance. Everyone else is great with March. And if we change it to June, that's when both of our (mine and my FH) birthdays are, that's much warmer weather, that's when our kids get out of school, that's my sisters birthday and her and her husbands anniversary, and my FH's best man wouldn't be able to be there.

I think I would actually consider changing my date if my best friend couldn't make it, but that doesn't mean you should. I checked with all of my VIPs before booking my venue, and would have been okay with moving the date if someone couldn't make it. I don't know your situation, though. If you can't change your wedding date, then you'll have to accept the fact that your best friend won't be there, and be sure you let her know that you won't hold it against her. I can't say I would feel up to traveling on a plane with a 3 or 4 month old infant without some help, so I see where she's coming from.

That said, I don't think it's her place to ask you to change your wedding date. Maybe she thought it was still tentative and you were asking if that date would work for her.

Changing your date to accommodate one person, but inconveniencing for several others, it is not a wise decision. Our mothers and most of our family wanted us to have our wedding in either May or June, but we decided not to due to Mother's Day and several of our nieces/nephews will be graduating college in May/June.

I wouldnt change your date. You chose it for a reason. June is also much more expensive. March is the off season, so your vendors will all be discounted. You're giving her plenty of time to decide what she wants to do.

Thank you everyone for your advice. This has been a huge stressor and causing some serious tension!

No. Planning your wedding around a friend I don't consider reasonable.

Im torn, I wouldn't know what to do honestly.

Continue as planned, you cannot change your date over 1 persons's schedule. It really was insensitive from her part to even ask.

Loose one guest our loose multiple? It seems it's as simple as that.

It doesn't sound like she can't come in March, but doesn't want to. That's shitty of your friend (although I understand traveling with a baby. But still). Definitely do not inconvenience yourself and multiple others, because she can't be bothered.

ETA the military can change ALL THE TIME. You don't want to plan around her. Because she can only attempt to plan around the military. Its a quick way to disappointment, I promise.

Ah hh hh date twin!! I don't think you should have to change it, it took us forever to decide on a date that matched up with the place we wanted, and it's very hard to change.

Okay! I think March 12 it is! Thank you soooo much, seriously this has helped a ton!!

Do you actually have a venue? Your date doesn't mean anything if you don't actually have a venue.

We're looking at several at the moment. But they each are asking our date and March is what we have been working with.

Can she not leave the baby with a grandparent or friend? I would understand she is upset, but she should not ask you to change the date just for her.

I actually did schedule my wedding around my bridesmaids. I wanted a May wedding and was really hoping for May 2nd because or first date was May 1st and FH proposed to me on May 3rd after we went out for our anniversary. Between my cousin (BM) having a major event andgraduating college and my FSIL traveling for choir, having prom, and graduating HS, May 9th was the only weekend that my whole bridal party could attend without someone making a major sacrifice. It also ended up turning out well because we can spend mother's day with both our moms at the day-after brunch my mom really wanted to throw.

Long story short, it is nice, if possible, to avoid a huge scheduling conflict for your VIPs, but rearranging your whole wedding timeline for an inconvenience (not even seen true conflict) is way beyond the expected and seems like it could do more harm than good.