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Just Said Yes October 2021

Bridal Party Advice

Amber, on October 11, 2020 at 10:21 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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My wedding is just under a year away, but I've basically already picked my bridesmaids. I have a Matron of Honor, a maid of Honor and three bridesmaids. However, I'm having issues with the Matron of Honor and am beginning to feel that as important to me, it's going to be more drama and effort to include her than I will be able to handle on top of everything else. Is it acceptable to politely tell her that I dont want her to be part of the wedding party anymore?

For the past three years since my bestfriend, who was one heck of a bridezilla towards me, has basically drug me into their drama. For this reason and yet another we are splitting, just kidding we are working it out and downsizing venues a lot I basically told her that I didn't like him and wasn't comfortable with him being there. She basically told me that if he wasn't going to be there and she wasn't going either. When I explained to her how I felt she said she understood and would talk to him, but even if he doesnt come even though I helped her with things for her wedding and even stayed with her despite her being a bridezilla the entire time.....I'm going to have to foot the bill for everything she needs on top of everything else. What would you do,

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on March 1, 2021 at 6:40 PM

Champion July 2019
Veronica · on October 11, 2020 at 11:24 PM
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If you have already asked her to be in your wedding, then removing her would likely be a friendship ending move.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on October 11, 2020 at 11:29 PM
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Your msg seemed to cut off a bit. At the end of the day that's her husband and even if you do not like him she should be allowed to invite him. You asked her to be matron of honor so if you ask her to step down as the previous person said it's a friendship ending move.
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Super October 2022
Michele · on October 12, 2020 at 12:01 AM
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I would say that her being a bridezilla to you in the past would be a friendship-ending move on its own. There's no amount of stress that validates treating your best friends like crap. If she isn't feeling the love this time either, let her go and move on since she doesn't seem to be supportive of you in any way. Just an observation based on your description.
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Devoted April 2023
Afrangram · on March 1, 2021 at 11:06 AM
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It was time to reevaluate your friendship during her time as a bridezilla. The relationship is up for reevaluation again. I see that this post is a few months old but I hope this was resolved.
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Master 0000
Judith · on March 1, 2021 at 6:40 PM
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See her outside the wedding, a few weeks before, and a few weeks after. Tell her you still want her as a friend. Without spouses. So she misses your wedding. but you will tell her all the best parts. And all the truly dreadful things too. I have friends, hubby has friends, where neither of us can stand the spouse. And we decided to live with it, just that way. We do not invite them when everyone is paired off, not as a couple. But every few months, for a dinner and cards or pool, or cross country skiing and sitting round the fire, cookouts, whatever, we tuck on a time for these people and other non-couples, work people, long term singles. Meanwhile, ongoing, we go out to movies, or shop, do other friend things. It has been true since we were married. I gave up on trying to figure out why a belligerent, or heavy drinking, or chronically depressed or whatever person is someone who attracts my friend. But always their are some friends like that.
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