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Expert September 2017

Bridal Dinner faux pas?

Lovecat, on July 23, 2017 at 4:04 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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My BFF wanted to throw me a bridal shower, but I didn't want one, so I suggested a ladies' night dinner out, followed by optional shenanigans at the local casino. My intention was most certainly not for her to host/pay for everyone's dinner; I just assumed we would all chip in for the bill. However, now I find myself wondering...

So question #1 is: If you received the following invite, what would you think?

"Join us for dinner to celebrate R's upcoming marriage to E! We will be getting together to eat, drink, and be merry with the bride-to-be and to wish her well. Hope to see you there!"

Question #2: Is it actually rude AF to assume everyone will chip in, and would we offend everyone by doing so? If that's the general consensus, I'll figure out a way to discretely pay the bill, because I can't burden my BFF with this, but I don't want to offend anyone, either.

File this under "plans that were perhaps not thought through completely..." !!!!!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by fallinthegarden, on July 23, 2017 at 4:21 PM

Super July 2018
Mags · on July 23, 2017 at 4:09 PM
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I've attended similar events and always brought cash just in case because it is hard to know for sure from the invite wording and as a guess it is awkward to ask the host whether they are paying or not... I guess people shouldn't be surprised or offended that they need to cover their expenses.
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Super October 2017
slimshady · on July 23, 2017 at 4:17 PM
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She left it really open-ended and informal. I would assume I'm to cover my own expense (hopefully it's at a place that isn't way overpriced or outside of people's normal price range when going out to eat)

That being said, if I were in your shoes and really worried about offending the guests/burdening my BFF, I would probably try to call the restaurant and pay a lump-sum to be applied to the total cost of the dinner. It would be discreet, and your BFF might be able to cover the cost of the remainder.
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Devoted September 2018
Valerie · on July 23, 2017 at 4:17 PM
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I would assume that I would be picking up my dinner if a restaurant was mentioned. The past few bachelorette parties I have been to have had formal invites and then either an email thread or Facebook group event that explained more details, which is helpful as a guest.
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Master March 2016
The Trap Selena · on July 23, 2017 at 4:19 PM
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I agree @Olivia. If someone invites me out for a girls night, no wedding attached, I would assume that I would pay for myself.
You're having a bachelorette party, especially since it's so close to the wedding.
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Master October 2017
fallinthegarden · on July 23, 2017 at 4:21 PM
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I agree with Olivia, I would assume it was a bachelorette party based on the wording and how close it is to your wedding. People pay their own way at bachelorettes so I would expect to cover my own costs.
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