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Savvy April 2021

Breaking the news

Victoria, on September 30, 2020 at 12:55 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 10
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Hey everyone! So i need a little bit of advice. I brought my wedding dress about a couple weeks ago and I absolutely love it. Only problem, I haven’t told my mom that I found my dress or even that I brought a dress for that matter. As context, between Covid bridal appointments being incredibly difficult to schedule and varying schedules between my mom and I it just didn’t work. Plus I know myself enough to know that I can become easily swayed and wanted to focus on how I felt verse what others thought. My mom has a very different version of how she would want me for the day.


I’ve sent her pictures of the dress and told her I loved it. Btw she doesn’t like the dress but I loved it so much that I couldn’t help but buy it.
Either way how do I tell her that I brought the wedding dress without her? I just feel bad not letting her in on this process.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Annika, on October 1, 2020 at 12:13 PM
  • Michelle
    VIP September 2021
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Umm that's tricky, do you think she'll be upset that she didn't get a chance to go with you? Maybe fake it...let the bridal store know your bringing your mom in but she doesn't know that this is the one and kind of re-do the moment. If she doesn't like it, that's on her. My mom wasn't thrilled about my dress at first but she knows it's about what makes me feel good and comfortable. She'll come around once your all put together. I'm glad you found the dress that you love. We have to make us happy first!
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  • M
    Dedicated May 2021
    Maybride ·
    • Flag
    I did this too. I just told my mom and she was the first to see it. Mind you I’m not even sure she would have come dress shopping with me in the first place so no big deal (just not super interested in the whole thing). Just tell her outright and explain you just loved it and couldn’t get it out of your mind etc etc
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Stop watching TV and reading Hallmark cards. In real life, as many brides or more, do not shop with their mothers, as do. And a lot of the time when they do, it is because Mom is paying for the dress only if she is there. Otherwise, they wouldn't. Relax. Just tell her that whenever you have been within half a mile of a wedding dress, you have tuned right in and checked it out, filing away info on each shop in your head for future shopping trips. This time, you just had to try it on, just had to buy it. Tell her she is the first one you want to show. But don't feel guilty. You are an adult and do not have to apologize for doing things on your own, or with FI or others and not mommy.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine Online ·
    • Flag
    I would just tell her 🤷🏾‍♀️ At the end of the day it’s your wedding and your vision is what matters not hers
    • Reply
  • Msalberts
    Master October 2021
    Msalberts ·
    • Flag
    Rip off the bandaid...the sooner you tell her the better.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I agree with the last 2 people....just tell her. If you lived it enough to buy it that’s all that matters.
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag

    I would just straight up tell her. You bought the dress, can't change things now. Own up to it. You obviously knew it would upset her buying a dress without her, but still did it. Now own it and tell her.

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  • Madelin
    Devoted November 2020
    Madelin ·
    • Flag
    Next time the subject of the dress is brought up, tell her you bought it. I'm sure she will understand. I took my mom and another woman that's like a mom to me wedding dress shopping. They loved dresses on me that I didn't like. But I tried on the dresses they liked and ultimately made my decision. My mom really likes the dress I picked because it's me and its beautiful. It may not be your traditional wedding dress, but that's exactly what I didn't want.
    Please focus on what you and your FH want. Do not make yourself unhappy during this planning process by trying to make everyone else happy before yourself. This is a once in a lifetime experience, enjoy it.
    • Reply
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this. I am always a little surprised by posts like this because I'm not sure why people don't just mentally decide "this is the one" and then go back with Mom or whoever and actually sign the contract later. They are all made to order so it's not like someone else will buy "your gown" out from under you. And if it was off the rack, there is the "get out of jail free"!

    • Reply
  • Annika
    Expert November 2020
    Annika ·
    • Flag

    My mom and I aren't on great terms, and i live across the country from her so we already knew we weren't going to shop together, plus she really didn't seem that interested. However i kept her informed of what was going on and sent her a few pictures. Don't worry too much about what she thinks, you will drive yourself crazy!

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