Brand New Last Name?

It sounds like he made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to keep his name, so I wouldn't even consider taking his name or hyphenating his name an option. If you feel like your last name is meaningful to you and he's okay with taking it, that sounds like the most logical answer.

I agree with Caytlyn. The only other option would be a whole new last name that you both like. Personally, I would probably choose for FH to take my last name in this situation rather than a brand new one just because I would like to keep one of our family names.

I think it's completely fine if he takes your last name. It's 2020 and a man taking his wife's last name should be as normal and easy as a woman taking her husband's last name.

My best friend's sister was in a similar situation with her now husband, where he had no connection to or affinity for his last name. He ended up taking hers. If your last name is still important to you to where you still want to keep it, why not let him take it? Is there really a need for a whole new name if you both would want your last name?

Ah, I get that! It's really up to you guys anyway, so do what feels right for you!

You could both hyphenate with (your last name)-Rivian, so you both get what you want. I personally think you’re a bit hung up on feeling like you need to change your name just bc you are getting married. The whole concept of that is to share a family name, but if he takes yours, that is the family name you are creating. Relationships are about compromise. Sounds like he is meeting part way, although if you don’t want Rivian, and decide to change yours completely, there should be compromise there.

I know couples who have created their own last name - it's not something I'd choose but it works for them. Some combined their names (Greenway and Blackstone would be Greenstone for example) or just made up something entirely different (my friends brother and his wife changed their last name to Soleil, which means "sun"). If you are going to create a brand new name I think you should create it together, as it is representing your bond and I don't think its fair for him to make up a new name that you aren't totally into.

If you don't like your last name, but don't want to let it go, and your FH is willing to take it, I would definitely consider keeping your name and having him take yours. Otherwise I'd make up a new name entirely. I would not take on his name if he doesn't want to keep it - that would be unfair to you both.

Good luck!

Take your last name or find a last name that means something to the both of you.