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Just Said Yes November 2024

Both my parents are deceased and i don’t want to take from my fiancé

Tiffane, on August 14, 2024 at 12:32 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 1

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I’m 36 and getting married for the first time in November. I lost my mom when I was 23 and my dad when I was 27. I’m an only child and have some extended family but not that I’m close enough to for it feel right having them dance with me during the father daughter dance. My sweet partner is non binary and their parents have been so amazing making me feel like family. I know it’s important for them to have their father child dance and I don’t want to take it away from them even though they have offered to forgo it. That said, I always have to dismiss myself from this part of weddings because it’s just too painful. I can’t even write this post without ugly tears. I’ve made peace with walking myself down the aisle and asked my childhood best friend to do my toast….but the dance just kills me. We have planned lots of ways to honor my parents throughout the whole celebration. And. This part is overwhelmingly confusing. Have any of you been in this boat? Do have suggestions?

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Latest activity by LM, on August 20, 2024 at 11:26 AM

Super December 2022
LM · on August 20, 2024 at 11:26 AM
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I'm sorry you're feeling so much anxiety over the dance. It is reasonable and common to grieve those who've passed when faced with a momentous time in our lives like engagement. If I can make a suggestion, try to reframe some of your thinking. Instead of your experience in comparison to your partner's, try to join the two. Perhaps you can walk each other down the aisle and start the day together. Have a friend hold your hand while she dances with her parents. Trim down extra memorial tributes to only 1 written and 1 symbolic so you can celebrate your present commitment rather than loss. Best wishes.
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