Book venue or church first?

I would make sure both are available on the date you want a book both on the same day so you know they are available.

If you don’t have your heart set on any specific church book the venue first.

Call them both and make sure they are available. Go check them out in person if you can before you book just so there aren't any surprises, then try to book them at the same time!

Venue may be more important because they're so specific to your theme and taste but there should be plenty of churches to choose from in town. We booked venue first technically because we knew the church would be available, but definitely make sure they're both open before you put any money on one or the other.

Agree with pp that you need to confirm that both are available for the same date -- at times that work together (many Catholic ceremonies, which typically can't start later than 1 or 2 in the afternoon so they don't interfere with an evening Mass, result in a huge -- and much disliked -- "gap" before an evening reception...). Also, some Catholic churches will require you to go through several steps regarding classes, etc., before they will even schedule the wedding ceremony, so be sure you've done all your research and have firm commitments before you sign contracts and/or make deposits with venues.

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I agree - you may have to do a bit of calling to both places PLUS you have to make sure a Catholic church will marry non members.

My only question is: Do YOU want to get married in a Catholic church? Does your fiance?

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I agree with this completely. A church wedding -- especially many Catholic churches -- involve a lot of requirements and commitments. The choice shouldn't be about what a relative wants or about having a wedding inside a particular building. It should be what you truly want, but only after you fully understand what it means. Good luck!

We booked the church first and then looked for venues that were available that day. For us, the church was more important so that we had a date to look for the venue. I would book the church first so that you have time to lool for churches that will marry you and see if you have all the requirements necessary.

We made sure both were available on the day we wanted and booked them both around the same time.

I am Catholic while my fiance is Buddhist. Neither of us really care about getting married in a Catholic church. We wouldn't have the full mass. My dad is the only one that really wants this. I DON'T want a huge gap between church and reception. My brother got married in a church on a Wednesday and had the reception on the following Saturday, and that was annoying too. So I'm not really sure what would work best for us. Our tentative list has 32 people from my side, 33 friends, and 96 from his side. A majority of the people invited are not Catholic or Christian, which obviously doesn't mean that they're not invited to the ceremony but I just don't want there to be a huge gap especially for these people.

Talk to the church that you're considering and see what they say! I was able to have no gap -- 3 pm wedding, 15 minute drive to the reception venue, cocktail hour 4:30, dinner at 6 and then the rest of the reception. You won't know what their timing is until you ask!

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Based on this, it doesn't really sound like YOU want a Catholic ceremony. If that's the case, I'd tell dad you're going in a different direction. He'll likely adapt (eventually! ) and you can move on with your planning. Good luck! (My advice is DON'T do this just because your dad wants it -- not only will it be an irritant for you, but it's not the right reason to get married in a Catholic church with all the meaning behind that decision.)

I mean I’m also catholic and while I think it’s fairly important it’s also stressful and I’m not sure if it’s worth stressing out about

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I agree with this. We did it backwards: booked reception venue then church and we were scrambling. The priest we wanted was unavailable on that date and the church was going to be in construction, etc. etc., so we were looking at other churches around the city for availability. It's turned out all okay and the priest shuffled his schedule and the construction appears to be postponed, but I wish we had called the church first booked the church and then the venue to make sure we got the important ceremony side done first.

Also, almost all the venues I spoke with will give you a provisional reservation for a week or two, which allows you to decide while you still look at other venues; they contact you if anyone else is interested in that same date and give you first dibs. So you could maybe conditionally reserve your date with the venue while you see if the church has that same date available.

I booked both around the same time. Visited both within a week, made sure they still had the dates available before I booked both, etc.

I booked my venue first BUT my fiancee proposed on a Saturday and I'm in my church choir so the first thing I did walking in for warm ups before service the next morning was show my priest my ring and tell him the good news. His response was "Congratulations! I get to do the ceremony right?" They are also very particular that regular members get first dibs on dates and they dont even start considering letting anyone else in until a couple months out and I booked my venue 2 years out because they do booking up to 3 years out. I told Father the date I got them for and he said "Great, its yours. We'll deal with details closer to." So I'm on the church calendar already and have the whole weekend for myself eventwise there (the only event I would have had to share a day with is our annual bizarre if I went a week earlier because that is the same weekend every year and people expect it). He had already blocked off that whole December for me cause I had said that was the month we wanted. So if you have a super close relationship with your church it can work to book the reception first and then the church but otherwise I would say try to get them at the same time - or at least get a soft hold over a couple weeks on the one you are most sure about.

Church first. Without a ceremony, it is just a party.

View Quoted Comment Getting married is stressful. Doesnt really matter what place the ceremony is at. The pre-canal classes are just premarital counseling sessions, they were actually really great. It also felt like we were actually preparing for something instead of just planning a party.

I checked with the venue, photographer and florist to make sure they were all available the same day.

I am also getting married in a Catholic church and that was one of the last big things we booked because we just had to work around what time they were having mass.

If there is a specific church you are looking at just give the parish office a call and ask what time there mass schedule is on the day you're thinking of and ask if they have any weddings booked that day!