Black Tie Preferred

I know a bride who recently listed black tie on her invitations because she didn't want anyone to wear jeans. I also knew the couple well enough to know it def wouldn't be a black tie event. How well do you know the couple? Can you look up the venue and see what type of events they typically host? As PP said, black tie preferred is made up and without any more info, I would guess it's not a black tie event and the couple just wants people to look nice. I'd still rather be overdressed than under dressed though. You could look for used BM dresses on a resale site. I got a floor length navy Vera Wang dress on preownedweddingdresses.com for like $50.

I believe the point is that the host can't request black tie unless they are providing a black tie experience. If they are, they are within their rights to inform their guests and specify apparel.

I am seeing lots of prints at my evening weddings, even in my formal places. They look just fine in the mix of outfits.

Rent the Runway has some amazing options (including jewelry, accessories, and evening bags), but be sure to secure your dress selections weeks before the event (as in six or more). The popular styles and sizes go quickly (my daughter tried to rent something for her brother's wedding in September, and she tried last week -- more than a month before the wedding. Even if she went up a size or down a size, the dress wasn't available. But I will say that their customer service is fabulous. I had a problem getting a gown I wanted last January. It wasn't available, a month before the wedding. However, the representative took down all my info -- length, sleeves, color, size, etc. -- and instantly sent me photos of gowns that were available that met my requirements. I ended up ordering from them).

Muriel, I'm going to look at the link you provided. I don't really need to buy another Mother of Gown/formal gown, and if I can rent one, I'll do it.

And "Dress to Impress"? That sounds more like a business name, not something that should have been added to a printed invitation.

I think I may have to buy a dress but not necessarily something outrageous. The wedding is in November (the saturday after thanksgiving, traffic is going to be a MESS) and the only thing I have I could wear is very summery.

Thanks for helping me navigate this guys!

I second Carrie on Amazon dresses. Just click the Prime button.

How close are you to the couple? My friend's did this so I just asked them when we were hanging out one night what that even meant. The bridesmaids weren't even in long dresses. So ridiculous. I hate that attire designation. ANYWAY, my guess is you definitely don't need a formal floor-length gown, like everyone else said, a nicer cocktail dress should be fine.

I'll be asking about "Western formal" next year...

How bizarre. The wording is supposed to be: Black Tie Optional not Black Tie Preferred! What the hell?? I hope this wedding is enough of an *event* to warrant that request, as per Rachel D's comment.

Technically even black tie isn't the *most* formal wedding, it's white tie. But that's like... clothing you wear to meet the president. Like generally only royalty or celebrities or politicians have weddings *that* formal.

Here's a helpful list wedding "dress code" list to reference!

http://www.brides.com/story/wedding-dress-code-explained

Christy, when one band takes a dinner break, there's another to perform in their place. The idea is that guests will enjoy live music all night.

Black tie optional isn't a thing either. But you'll find it on wedding websites.....

I don't get the fixation with making your guests wear 'something', whether it's all white (really inconvenient, especially in NYC, lol), groovy casual or country club.

I went to a black tie wedding a few years ago. My FH rented a tux, I wore a gown. We were in the minority, a dark suit and dark cocktail dress would have been fine. That's what I would wear to the wedding you were invited to.

So, to spin off of this, anyone have suggestions on how to let guests know that my wedding isn't formal but we'd rather them not be in jeans either? Is that acceptable or is that rude? If it's not rude, wording suggestions for invitations?

No way @Marion. They will wear what they wear. it's not a reflection on you....

Marion, no you can't tell other adults how to dress.

@Celia I was afraid of that. Oh well. I'll survive with my cousins in jeans I suppose lol. I'll just stick them behind someone in the family photos so the bottom half of them won't show haha.

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Not ridiculous if the host definitely wants the wedding/event black tie but understands if certain guests can't afford or be convenient to renting a tux or getting an evening gown.

View Quoted Comment Wrong. You should dress to the formality of the dress code provided by the hosts.

View Quoted Comment This is wrong. Black Tie Preferred is a dress code. It means that the event is Black Tie and the hosts want guests to wear traditional Black Tie attire. The preferred simply means that if guests truly cannot meet the standard of Black Tie, they can arrive in the most formal attire they are able to come in.