Bipolar Mother

I think your best bet would be to have the conversation before the celebration, especially if you think conflict is unavoidable. She may not be happy with you, but at least she won't feel blindsided on the day of. It also leaves it up to her if she wants to attend.

Hopefully, if you tell her ahead of time she will at least come to terms with your plan. It might be best to recommend counseling/seeing her doctor if you think the disorder is not being adequately treated, although this might backfire depending on your relationship with your mom/her openness to receiving advice and treatment.

ETA: Words.

Hi Danielle,

My mother is bipolar as well and it has caused me a lot of anxiety during this process too. I agree with Christina to tell her asap and also find ways to include her in the small ways and explain to her why you want to do things the way you are. If she is included in the celebration, it might not be as bad. I know the center of attention thing can be the hardest because this is the time that you and FH should be the center of attention but just remember to everyone else you will be! Good luck.

Hi, bipolar mother here also. I'm still at a loss most days how to navigate her mental illness. I don't have any great suggestions since most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing myself!

One thing that has helped me is the fact that my FH and I dated SO long before getting engaged (over 12 years) that she's just so excited we're getting married finally that she hasn't been fighting me on things like she normally would be.

Just want to let you know you're not alone in this.

Thanks so much guys! Definitely glad to hear I'm not alone on this.

I plan on telling her very soon what our idea is for our wedding. My mother, like most people with Bipolar Disorder, has a habit of going off of her medication and soon as she feels like. I've been waiting for cues that she's been taking them before I tell her.

I don't have a ton of advice, but I am having similar problems with my FMIL. One minute she is happy about the wedding, the next she is pissed or upset about something else. My bridesmaids were going to travel down to go bridesmaid dress shopping and we all agreed that buying a dress online was easiest for everyone! well I nicely invited my FMIL to come along just because she wants to be included more, I just have no way to include her (plus her step-daughter, and niece will be there too) and I just told her that we aren't going anymore since everyone bought a dress. She had a melt down. I am done asking for her opinions and even bringing up the wedding to her unless I have too..

So I kinda understand the mood swings, I would just tell her straight out and tell her you want to keep it intimate and eventually have a nice party for family and friends. Don't beat around the bush, it could makes things worse. I would say "this is how it is and we aren't changing it" if things get rocky.

@NatHam11 I'm so sorry - I completely know what you're going through. It's so upsetting when you are completely happy with a decision you've made and then someone throws a fit about it.

I am going to tell her when I see her next and just be firm and hope for the best. I just keep waiting for her to text/call me and tell me what she's upset by this week!

The hardest part of wedding planning for me has been this!