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Just Said Yes May 2020

Bipolar Bridesmaid

Elle28, on September 16, 2019 at 11:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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I am seeking some advice with regards to my oldest friend/bridesmaid and what to do about my bachelorette party.

Some back story: She is clinically Bipolar. She was diagnosed years ago and has done a really good job of managing her health to best of her ability. That said, the last six months have been a very challenging time for her. Without sharing much, she has been hospitalized twice.

Long story short, I don't think this bridesmaid should attend my Las Vegas bachelorette party (nothing has been booked for the trip yet). It's a complicated situation that I don't quite know how to navigate without seeming like I'm flat out excluding her. The idea of her attending gives me so much stress + I just do not think a weekend of partying in Vegas is good environment for her. I understand this may sound selfish on my part but I genuinely want whats best for my friend.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Mcskipper, on September 17, 2019 at 12:54 PM

Champion October 2018
Kelly · on September 16, 2019 at 11:33 PM
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I just would be very careful thinking you know what’s best for her in regards to the trip. I would try to be there for her as a friend and encourage her to talk to her psychiatrist/therapist about what would be best right now. I say this as someone who has struggled with a mental illness and who went on pass from an inpatient eating disorder unit to attend a bachelorette party in Vegas a few years ago because my therapist thought it was a good idea.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 16, 2019 at 11:42 PM
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Has she needed decision-making taken from her recently in regards to her health and safety?

Why was a trip to Vegas planned if it would mean excluding your closest friend? Since nothing had been booked can you do something more chill closer to home?
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on September 17, 2019 at 6:40 AM
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If it’s still some time away, I would just wait it out before doing anything. She could get her meds sorted out and be back on the right track before your bachelorette party comes. If the trip to Vegas is what you really want, and your other bridesmaids are willing to go, I don’t think you should necessarily cancel for one girl. There’s lots of reasons people can’t go. But you need to consider how you’ll feel without one of your besties by your side.
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Super November 2019
Katie · on September 17, 2019 at 10:45 AM
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If she truly is your closest friend I don't see how you would be okay with excluding her from your batchelorette party. With nothing being "Set in stone" yet why not do something everyone can participate in instead of excluding one for mental health issues?
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on September 17, 2019 at 12:52 PM
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Do you think she wants to attend anyway? Has she expressed maybe not going? One of my husband's sisters is an alcoholic & has basically no money, and she knows she's a mess, so she chose not to go to the bachelorette party (which was a good choice for her and for me) and I didn't have to tell her not to go since she made the decision herself.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on September 17, 2019 at 12:54 PM
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If I thought Vegas wasn’t a good idea for everyone involved, I’d be trying to figure out a new, more crowd friendly party idea, personally. I wouldn’t want to exclude my friend — even if Vegas was a dream, there’s always another chance at a trip. My top priority for my bachelorette was spending time with my best girlfriends.
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