Big wedding or intimate?!?

Ok I’ve asked this question before and I’ve read some threads with this question already BUT I feel every persons situation is different since we all come from different cultures and traditions. I’m super torn because I want a wedding with all my family (including distant cousins) that I see occasionally. It’s always a good time seeing them but I just feel since I live in California and most of them live in either Wisconsin or Texas they don’t come visit and don’t keep in contact at all. They think Facebook posts are adequate form of contact but i didnt start actively using my account until recently. And the only people I want there are like 3 of my cousins I actually like and my aunt that actually cares to check up on me, but one of the cousins I want to invite is the favorite (my grandma even goes around showing random people pictures of them saying their her favorite) and I know that a lot of people will see our wedding and ask why they weren’t invited. It’s like a Mexican tradition to have big parties with all of the family but I can’t bring myself to wanting everyone there. I also I have family from Chicago ( not the nice part ) and they love drama and love to fight lol and when alcohol is mixed in it’s a bad story. I feel bad not inviting them but I also don’t because of the fore-mentioned reasons. I don’t know I guess what I’m asking for is pros to having all of your family at your special day or polite ways to let them down. Or even like an event that I could include the non immediate family I have. Also should I invite my cousin that I know is trying to compete with me? Like I feel like she’ll be taking notes the whole time and then she’ll say she did it better and bigger because she’s definitely invited the whole family to her wedding (were the same age btw) sorry these are the things that linger in my mind and bother me a lot since I got engaged!