Big wedding or house?

September of next year. So 4 months before we'd buy a house.

House. We ended up getting married in a tiny ceremony (parents and a sibling each) last September due to Covid restrictions and were planning on doing the big reception this fall. We ended up canceling the reception after we realized we’d rather use that money to finish paying off debt (which should be finished by December) so we can start saving next year for a down payment. A bit of a bummer at first, but seeing how close we are to being debt free has really made it worth it.

My two cents here is 'it depends'.

Our wedding was going to cost us $50,000 (before we downsized due to COVID) and as much as I would have loved to have bought property with it, we live in an area where a modest 3 bedroom apartment (not house) would cost us upwards of $1,500,000. Even with the extra $50,000 in the bank, we are easily a decade away (if not more) from being able to service such a large mortgage hence why we decided to go with the big wedding.

If your wedding costs could otherwise help you have a massive step up with buying a house, then I would say buy the house. If like us it won't really make a difference, then go wedding! Though, I will note, with COVID, purchasing a house will offer stability that pandemic wedding planning won't.

I vote HOUSE. My husband and I originally were supposed to have our big wedding last year but ended up having a 35 person minimony in October due to COVID. Even then, we still had our big wedding planned for March 2021. That ended up getting cancelled because COVID was still pretty bad. We ended up purchasing our house April 2021 and now that I look back, I can't even believe that we ever planned on spending that much money on just one day. We have our upcoming reception this October 2021 and we're saving 10K easily. So we have our house but we are still able to have a nice celebration with our family and friends.

There are definitely a few factors to consider.

1. Which is more important to you? A larger and more expensive wedding or a house?

2. The area you are in. Like "mrswinteriscoming" said, in her area it's much more expensive so saving the wedding money wouldn't make a difference. However, my down payment on my 3 bedroom condo was about 14-15k so that would definitely make a difference in my area.

3. Your spending and budgeting habits and income. My fiancé and I both have stable jobs and are very conscious of our spending habits and are pretty good at budgeting. We are already at our goal for wedding savings with over a year to go. So for us, we would be able to set aside separate funds for a new house and still have a similar size wedding, with maybe a few cuts. But some people aren't able to do that, which is okay. We just got very lucky that we got to keep our jobs during the pandemic. I know others weren't as fortunate.

I think whichever route you go, you can't make a wrong choice. It all really comes back to my first point of which is more important to you. I hope these give you some guidelines on deciding!

Depending on where you are, 15 to 20k is a very low budget as it is. Also depending on where you are, buying a house may simply not be feasible right away. My husband and I started looking since February, and we put in 7 offers before getting accepted. It was draining. Offers with 3 week escrows, waived appraisal contingencies, and full preapprovals are standard now. Most houses sell for 20 to 50k above list price, within a week.


Think of your must haves for a wedding. Who do you have to have there? What items do you absolutely want? You have some control over your own wedding, but no control over the housing market. Therefore, I would not throw out everything for a wedding for the hopes of a house you may or may not get.
I'd have the most budget friendly wedding I could have without sacrificing my must haves. For me, immediate family, nice rings, quality photos were a must have. We had 9 guests, got an arch with flowers, and Doordashed our dinner. Bought a sample dress from David's Bridal. It probably cost around 10k. No DJ, no planner. Great day.
Good luck!

I always vote savings for a house, but I had a small, inexpensive wedding by choice, so I am usually in the minority on that. The bigger down payment you have, the easier it is to get approved for a loan (and get offers accepted in some cases), the lower mortgage rate you can get, and the lower monthly payment you will have, all of which will impact your financial stability for many years to come. To me, ALL of that is more important than a fancy wedding.

Before making any big decisions, I would look into how much the difference in down payment will make on your monthly mortgage payments. Sometimes it makes such a little difference in your payment that it would be better to keep that money in savings in case there is ever any emergency or for potential house repairs/upgrades.

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I agree with this!

my wedding was like 15k and that honestly wouldn't have made any dent in house buying for us where we live.

obviously you can opt to downsize anyway though or to have a wedding later when you feel you've saved more, etc.

What does your gut say? As much as one might get excited for a big wedding, its gone in a flash and then all you have are the memories. Your house is forever (if you want it to be). Also, with all the covid BS right now, I say cut down on the wedding so you can have your dream house and then throw a big party later, if you want, when covid is gone (or manageable).

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THIS!! We're in Los Angeles, and the housing market has been crazy expensive (and incredibly competitive!) these past few years. Our wedding on the other hand will come in at just under $25K, which wouldn't even be close to a decent down payment with closing costs. We're going with wedding and saving up for a house immediately after. Plus, there hasn't been a big wedding in either of our families in years, and we're really looking forward to having one!

I agree a house down payment is more important when the cost of a big wedding can actually make a difference to your down payment. We lived in CA and chose reasonable wedding events ($30K for two parties), which really wouldn’t have made a big impact on us moving from our condo to a house ($1M which is beyond our budget). I lost my job while wedding planning, which can happen too.