Best way to uninvite guests -help

Personally, I would try to find a way to fit them no matter what.

Maybe plan a celebratory dinner, or backyard bbq or something with your friends. Luckily, the invites aren't out yet, and you can simply tell them, I am so sorry, I want you there, but we realized we just can't afford it.

If you haven't sent save the dates, you haven't invited anyone and you're not doing anything "wrong." You really shouldn't have given "verbal invites" but of course it's too late to reverse that. I think that telling them they're no longer invited would honestly just rub salt in the wound. I would just let it be and if these people bring it up, then you can tell them you're so sorry and you really wanted to have them there but your list is ending up being mostly family and you can't afford many more people than that.

I agree with the person above me. Just let it be, don't send them an invite, and if they ask tell them you're sorry but you were so excited that you jumped the gun by asking them verbally without first discussing budget, etc.

View Quoted Comment Good idea.

I think you could just be honest and say as the planning progressed, costs started getting really out of hand and you are not able to accommodate everyone you'd originally thought you could. Hopefully, they will understand.

View Quoted Comment Very well said. Thank you!

Even though it was verbal and no official paper went out, you can’t really uninvited them. That could end relationships and cause a lot of tension. People may end up not being able to attend anyways even if they were excited and said they’d come so you might be able to stay within your limit anyways without uninviting people. I would not verbally invite anyone else if they ask no matter how close you are as you’ve seen to hit your compromised limit.

There is no polite way to do this, unless you decide to elope just you two. Regardless, people will be hurt and offended that you verbally told them they are coming and never sent them an invite (especially since 130 people are getting invites and they didn't make a large cut like that). You really can't include people unless they are invited to the wedding.

Both members of a couple should be invited by name. This is not a plus-one, which is a guest's guest and optional. Only the members of a couple can determine whether or not they are, in fact, a couple. Do not expect people to honor your relationship when you're ignoring theirs.

If that means uninviting more people, so be it.

View Quoted Comment

I agree. If people ask about it and you decided not to include them on the final list, just tell them you guys decided to do something a little smaller than you originally thought.

Expect to lose relationships. I really empathize with your situation but being on the receiving end of what you intend on doing would leave a sour taste. Hopefully none of these people remember that they were verbally invited for your sake. I would try to accommodate those you have already told/invited and find another area to cut corners in.

Thanks Everyine for your comments! They're appreciated!

If the papers aren't out then they aren't really invited. Is it a good idea to verbally tell people things? No. It'll probably cause a problem here or there but just say you ran into unforseen budget costs and venue capacity limits. If they're a good friend they'll get over it.

View Quoted Comment Yes. Talk with FH because this is not ok to do. I'm not suggesting to invite more than 130 but there is a need two invite both people in a couple regardless of marriage or engagement.