Best way to cut the guest list....?

I love a good no kids wedding. Yes, some people will be upset. And if you don't have buy in from your parents it makes it worst - my FIs parents were the ones who suggested it 'kids don't need to be at a 6pm event'; but when the going got tough they were of no help in speaking with that side of the family. Oh well, we took care of it.

Circles work too, but I feel like if you are having those kids, then its all kids or people get really mad. These aren't your nieces and nephews but cousins, not so understandable to other parents. Do you want the second cousins there? That will be the deciding factor.

Either of those options are perfectly acceptable.

I'm with you we are doing the same thing only kids invited is our 3 daughters and the kids of people in the wedding party so a total of 10 kids our family has about 42 children on both sides 😱😱😱

Truthfully those are both good suggestions, and you can’t please everyone. Adult only receptions are much more common now. I personally am having an all adult reception with the exception of two kids, my niece and nephew that are in the bridal party. In my opinion, I would first say no to kids first. If that doesn’t get you close to the 30 then I would go down the list and cross off anyone that you haven’t seen or talked to in the past couple years. I’m big on family so I would try and not cut out family unless you absolutely have to. So if you’re inviting friends, look and consider if you need to have them there (and you may! Of course depends on your relationship with them and family).

Not to mention friends with kids also I would had about 54 kids in total no ma'am!!!

Both ideas sound well thought out and fair. Either would work for you in my opinion as long as you don't make exceptions as people complain (though it sounds like you won't)!

It sounds like you have a great plan. I would suggest that you address the invites to Emily and Tom Adams and be prepared for some pushback. You may also encounter people refusing to come if they can't bring their kids. I never understood this, as I am a parent myself and was always game for a kid free night!!! Whoo hoo!!

Stay firm and best wishes!!!!

I have never really understood the child age cut off thing...just don't invite children of any age? I can only assume you are not personally good friends with any 16 year olds, so why would you need one there. They still can't drink and yet will still cost the same as if they could.

We are only inviting children in our immediate circle, which totals 5. I would have preferred to have no children at all but it didn't seem worth the battle for such a small amount plus they are old enough to behave.

We are having a no-kids wedding, the only exception being the wedding party (my three brothers under 18 are groomsmen, and then our ring bearer and flower girls), and I made one single exception for a special needs cousin of mine.

View Quoted Comment See if I had a kid free night I'd never want to spend it at a wedding.

We've had a struggle with our guest list as well. This has been the most stressful thing. But we plan to not invite anybody under 21 besides 4 exceptions his 2 brothers who are in their teens, his nephew who is the ring barrier and my cousin who is more like a niece to me. But nobody else can bring children. On the RSVP we plan to write we reserved __ amount of seats for you so there is no confusion.
My parents also cut some cousins and only inviting people they want or close with not that they feel obligated to invite. And you could not give a guest to single friends.
Good luck!

My FH invited all his family and two friends (in the party) he is super close to his family and lost connection with a lot of his older friends. My list is mostly friends and family of my friends and my aunts/uncles (most are not coming) and I didn't invite any cousins from my side. My extended family isn't close - most my cousins are strangers to me so I wanted my friends and their families there who I grew up with! My two bridesmaids mothers were like second mothers to me and I couldn't imagine not having them there... we have 61 kids on the guest list and all were invited :/ most are from FH cousins who all have multiple kids. We didn't make exceptions just decided all kids so even my co-workers can bring there's... I felt weird excluding the few kids on my guest list when all of his were being invited because they are "family".... all families are different so do what works best for you!

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Oh yea we didn't give any single cousins a guest since they will have their family there. We did give a guest to those that would need to fly for the wedding and any single aunts or uncles. We also gave a guest to anyone that is single and wouldn't know anybody since we want everyone to have a good time!

Either options work but I would pick 2 because it sounds like that’s people you would rather invite and are closer to.

To be honest, I wish I could have an adults-only wedding, but my FH has a lot of underage family members and I don't want to deal with the politics of not inviting them... However, I did what you're wanting to do with option 2. I said " grandparents down" which eliminated a lot of estranged family members, really distant friends, etc. Basically it helped us let go of a lot of the "obligatory invites." It helped cut the guest list down to only those who we felt we couldn't get married without!

I thought this was super cute, found on Google. It's funny, and you may or may not have someone offer to pay for them... but it's an easy way to determine yes or no!