Best man’s fiancé not invited to wedding

That is a major faux pas. It’s highly disrespectful to not invite a significant other, and the couple doesn’t get to judge the validity of any guests’ relationships based on status or length of time together, while you ask them to celebrate yours. The exception is if they are toxic: racist, homophobic, abusive, violent, a general danger to those around them.


A significant other is not a plus one. They are a social unit and a named guest on the invitation. A plus one is a platonic random stranger. In your position, your partner needs to clarify with the couple that you are invited or not. If you are not invited, he needs to step down from his position as best man in solidarity of your relationship and decline the invitation. Because the couple is being disrespectful to him and you. Don’t accept this behavior from them and your partner should reevaluate their friendship.

That is very rude of your fiance's friend. They are asking him to celebrate their relationship, while they disrespect his relationship. Did they give a reason why they made this choice? How does your fiance feel about this? Has your fiance talked with his friend about this? Both members of a couple should be invited together, unless the person being excluded did something horribly wrong towards the couple getting married (abuse, stealing, etc).

Why were you the only SO excluded? To be honest, I’d have an even bigger issue with FI for not speaking up and agreeing to attend without you.

That is very very hurtful. The right thing to do is invite them both to your wedding, but honestly, I am not sure I would have the moral strength to do that. I would likely not want them at my wedding, despite the best friend status to your soon to be husband. I wouldn’t want them anywhere near me. I am not sure I could get over that without a very clear explanation and apology.

View Quoted Comment I was indeed the only one excluded. My partner is very upset about it but I believe he will still go.

Personally, my opinion is that it’s your day so do what makes you happy not what makes someone else happy. On your wedding no one else matters at all because this is a day for you and your significant other.

Do you know the reason you were singled out as the only SO not invited? It's one thing if a couple is just rude or oblivious to common wedding etiquette that states all guests should be invited with significant others; but it's quite another to single out one person to not invite. And it's an even bigger faux pas since this is the best man! Do you and the couple have history? Not get along? I am assuming there is more to this story, because singling you out is a very deliberate move.

View Quoted Comment There must be some reason in that case. Do you know why they are excluding you? Did FI ever ask?

I believe the reason is that they ran out of money and I did not make the cut. I guess you can’t argue with that.

Yikes. This is not okay. Extremely disrespectful to not only ignore you as FI's FI! but also to single you out as the only significant other to not be invited. Especially since he is the best man... I personally would not want to be friends with these people so I understand why you wouldn't want them to your own wedding. I think it's important for your fiance to be on your side, and if that's not attending the wedding that's what it is. If you think you can get past it, then he should go. I'm more sensitive than that.

View Quoted Comment That’s no question of him not going. He values his friendship just as much as my feelings. Which u will just have to accept. I am very glad that I’ve had the opportunity to get other people’s opinion because sometimes u find it hard to be objective.
I will admit that I will be very sad to hear everyone talk about it afterwards.

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Oh wow, this is so NOT ok. I get financial constraints, but there is absolutely no justifying only one SO (of the best man nonetheless!) not getting invited. This couple should have found the money for one additional guest (which is quite small - only a meal and bar, if charged per person). I would be extremely hurt if I were you or your SO. And tbh, my fiance would never even think about attending a wedding that I was snubbed from. It sounds like your SO needs to have a convo with his friend and let him know how hurt he is by this. Maybe the couple will realize the gravity of their thoughtless choice once they hear how it has affect one of their guests of honor.

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If you're okay with that then that's fine! I think he should value your feelings over the friendship, but again, that's just my opinion.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with you. I just know the battles I will loose. He also thinks I should accept an invite at a letter date if they change their mind. I told him in no uncertain terms that I would not accept a last minute invitation.

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Yes, Blake. You can argue with that. Often a BM or any wedding party member pays multiple times in the name of a self-indulgent couple. But, they can't make room at the table for you? These people are not worth knowing. They have poor etiquette, are cheap, and are making trouble for your relationship. Your fiance should even have more umbrance with them for that.

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I'm sorry, but you asked for brutal honesty. If you think this is a losing battle with your fiance, then you've already resigned yourself as a secondary priority most likely because he has shown you this before. Honey, rethink the relationship and a legally-committed future.

View Quoted Comment I’m trying to decide if they were to come back now and say “yeah, we made a mistake, please do come along” would it now be weird or would it be the grown up thing to accept?

View Quoted Comment I’m a forgiving person. If they came back and said they made a mistake I’d be the bigger person and go. At least they would have realized it and tried to make it right. People deserve second chances.

But again, it’s your FI’s behavior I’d be far more upset about. If he puts his friendship ahead of your feelings and incidentally what should be his own feelings, and doesn't tell his friend he’s uncomfortable attending without you I would personally see that as a bad sign of things to come.

By the way, I don’t for a single minute buy the reason you’re being given, ie that they all of a sudden ran out of money to host the fiance of the best man but somehow had the money for everyone else’s SOs. Please.

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ALL OF THIS 👆🏻

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I agree with CM.

Also, I think it's grown-up to have boundaries with whomever you want. So maybe the questions are rather if they offered you an apology and invitation, would you trust their words?

Just FYI, on WW we talk about the only legit reasons to not invite specific partners or guests would be if they are violent, bigots, or sloppy drunks. Good luck.