Best Man stressing me out! Am i being unreasonable

Hey all,


First off, I am new here, but want to congratulate everyone in here; already wed or just engaged, it’s great to see that there is still love in the world! This maybe long winded, so I do appreciate anyone who sits through and reads this whole thing:
Here’s my issue; my bride and I were engaged christmas 2018. We decided on waiting a year before the wedding to plan and save up for it, and our date was to be for May, 2020. Well that ended up being pushed off due to the current pandemic which was fairly stressful, however, we decided to get officially married still on our chosen date, and push of the ceremony and reception for our family and friends until later in the year (I can see a lot of you were in the situation of postponing their own weddings). During the planning stages, I had approached one of my best friends to be my best man. I’ve known the guy since he was born, and we had been through a lot together, so it seemed fitting that I choose him.
Everything had been fine with him throughout all of this, but in the recent week leading up to the ceremony (we still have about a month to go) he’s been getting a bit on my nerves. He lives out of town, so he will be flying in a few days before the wedding. When we were still on track to have the wedding back in May, he asked if he could stay with my bride and I, this would have been fine, but my bride didn’t want to deal with the stress of having people stay with us in the days before the wedding (which is fine with me, I don’t want to start any issues with the bride). I told him this, and he said that he was okay with that, he also has family here in town (his mom and brother) so he said he arranged to stay with his mom. Fast forward to now, after all the changes with the wedding, like mentioned, he’s planned to come a few days before the wedding. He again asked if he was staying with us, and again I told him no, because its still the same situation, plus I mentioned that I thought he had already arranged to stay with his mom. Not the issue, but it’s almost as though he wasn’t listening.
Initially too, he would have planned a bachelor party for me, but given the restrictions surrounding the pandemic, I had mentioned that maybe it’d be best to just not do it now, especially since we are already married.
Given that he will be here a few days before (forgot to mention he will be here with his fiancé) we talked about maybe doing a day trip one of the days before the wedding, which is fine, we can plan around that and still have a few days for final preparations ( picking up suits, decorations, flowers, the cake). Now here is where things have started to get annoying for me;
Some details have started to change. Him and his fiancé were scheduled to fly in on the Wednesday morning Before the wedding (it’s on the sat), however, their flight was apparently changed so they will instead be coming in on the Tuesday in the evening. Fine, that’s not in his control, nor mine, but I had planned specifically to book off time from work over the course of the wedding week, and into the following week, And took that Wednesday off so I could pick him up. Now given the change, I mentioned now that I won’t be able to pick them up. He seemed a little annoyed at first, but then said okay, he’ll figure something else out. Great, because then that alleviates some stress off my plate, but I did mention to him that I would see if I could shift some things around so that maybe I could pick them up.
The day trip suddenly changed too. We live in the city near a mountain town (about an hour or so away) and we had just planned to head out there for the day one of the days before the wedding, maybe do some hiking in the mountains, and whatnot. But now his plan is that the day trip is to another mountain town 3 hrs away, and then drive another hour into the next province and stay for the night (leave on the Thursday and come back on the Friday). Said he already had an Airbnb booked. Fine, but I mentioned that we wouldn’t be staying the night, Friday is the day before the wedding and we don’t want to be driving back home to do all the final prep. He again got offended by this, and I explained to him that we don’t want to be out of town the day before the wedding. He wouldn’t let this go, and didn’t seem to want to understand that we don’t want to be out of town this close to the wedding. No matter how long or short of drive. He finally said okay whatever, and seemingly let it go.
Then he mentions having the bachelor party on Wednesday evening. This really irked me, as I had mentioned that because of all the current restrictions nowadays that I didn’t want to have it at this time (Again, I also mentioned this back in May when things got pushed off that we wouldn’t have it now). He tried to backtrack and make it out to be more of a little get together, just a dinner. To me, if it’s just a dinner, then fine, but then he mentions that I need to get him a list of guys to invite.. Again, to me, it doesn’t sound like he just wants to have a little get together. I’ll also mention that he’s the partying type, and although I was okay with how he wanted to plan a bachelor party back before Covid hit, I did also mention that I didn’t want it to get too crazy. He won’t tell me any of the other details with this “planned get together” and says “don’t worry about it”.
His next thing was that he wanted to talk to the bride in private. They don’t know each other that well, and she’s also kind of the shy type so I send him her phone number, but mention to not call, because she more than likely won’t answer and it would be better to text. he gets annoyed again and says to stop being difficult. I tell him I’m not, and that it legitimately Would be better for him to message her. He calls her anyways, and of course she doesn’t answer and tells me a little while later that he called her. I send him a message again saying that it really would be better Just to text, and his reply was that things are better said over the phone. I ask him what he wants to talk about with her, and from there it turns into him thinking I don’t trust him. I try to explain to him that that’s not what the issue is and that I’m not trying to be difficult, but he keeps pushing. We leave it there, and later on he does end up Messaging her.
The next day, he texts and apologies about how he was acting, and that he just wants us to have a good relaxing time before the wedding. I apologize too, and explain that I know that and appreciate it, but we are already stressed with everything as is (the whole state of the wedding, plus now finalizing all the details) and throwing new things into the mix, even though they are meant to be relaxing, doesn’t help take any stress off our shoulders. He leaves it at that and things were seemingly back to being calm. But, now a few days later again he’s started pushing the plan of going out of province and says we should really think about staying the night when we do this day trip. I again mention, that no we won’t be staying because of the previous reasons of not wanting to be out of town the day before the wedding, and his response Is “whatever, not really a reason, but okay”. I told him off. Maybe not the best tactic, but it just doesn’t seem like he wants to listen. To anything.
I dunno, maybe I’m being too unreasonable here, but he seems to be pushy with his plans rather than what would be best for us to manage our stress with the wedding. Am I in the wrong here, or is my best man only out for his own pleasures?