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Dedicated October 2026

Best man is dating my sister

Ashley, on July 9, 2019 at 2:46 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

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The best man and grooms have been friends since they were kids. Groom and I started dating 5 years ago so I consider best man a good friend. He recently got into a relationship with my sister (who is my maid of honor.) and every time they get into an argument he threatens to drop out of the wedding. I've already paid for his outfit and his place in the wedding. If he does drop out we're out a good chunk of money, our picture balance will be off because we each have two people. But if he does stay in there's a chance he'll try to pick a fight with my sister on the big day. If he did I know my sister would ignore him to try to respect me but he would take her silence as a threat and possibly get violent. Fh doesn't really like my sister so if best man drops out he'll be upset and blame her. Is there a right answer here? It's all a mess

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Margaret, on July 9, 2019 at 3:14 PM

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on July 9, 2019 at 8:05 AM
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Being ignored is not a reason to get violent! In a relationship, there is nothing that can justify violence. If this BM threatens to leave the wedding party, he is a d head and not a friend. Sounds like all around he's not great anyway. This is a mess. If your sister and friend are not good for one another, support them individually. I don't think there's a right way to handle this besides encouraging them to get some counseling or breakup.
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on July 9, 2019 at 8:39 AM
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I am going to be 100 percent honest. If the guy is going to get violent. My first worry above everything else would be that my sister is dating someone that will get violent. That my fiancé would choose a guy that got violent with a GF over the GF. The BM is controlling by saying he would drop out of wedding. Then choice to get in a fight and be violent towards some one who is just keeping the peace. Then your fiancé will get mad at your sister and not his friend?
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 9, 2019 at 9:52 AM
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If I was ever afraid a man would lay hands on my sister he wouldn't be part of my wedding and my fiance would have to choose between his abuser friend or me. And that would be the least of that guys problems.
Your future husband allowing this guy to act like this is a red flag that your future husband doesn't see anything wrong with such behavior. Do you really want to marry a man comfortable with domestic violence? Dump your fiance, dump his best friend, and get out of there!
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Dedicated June 2020
Margaret · on July 9, 2019 at 3:14 PM
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Oh boy. This sounds volatile. I would ask him to stop making threats because their issues are their issues alone. It isn't fair to out your day and money in jeopardy. It needs to be clear cut of he is going to attend and represent the way he is supposed to. I'd be very diplomatic and tell him that you aren't saying that his feelings in their arguments aren't valid (but they're also none of your business) but they can't be brought into something else. Just calmly ask if he can refrain from making those threats and ask if he thinks he'll be able to keep it together. If not, no biggie, but you'll have to move forward without him of that's the case.
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