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Savvy July 2020

Best friends/very close friends

Samantha, on June 18, 2020 at 1:32 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 19

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So I think I know what some of you were going to say but I need some bride on bride advice. So the salon I used to work at I became really good friends best friends if you will with this one girl. We literally talked about everything. Sometimes our conversations went a little bit too personal if you know what I mean LOL 😂 I have been engaged for two years my wedding is coming up in 3 weeks. In December she got engaged and her wedding is next weekend. I had told her I was going because honestly I did not want to miss it because she was my best friend. Well now I'm having second thoughts because I never received her RSVP and then she finally texted me and told me she can't go because she already requested off the weekends before for her wedding. Which I know some people absolutely cannot go because of work which that is understandable but since I worked there before and it wasn't that long ago and I know the manager she would work with her and have her work morning shift if she really wanted to go to my wedding. So my question is is should I still go to her wedding? Or do you think that is petty? I'm getting my hair done up at the salon where she's working at and I feel like if she's there I'm going to be very upset if she gets off early and she was claiming she can't go.

Also my bachelorette party is the same day as her wedding.

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19 Comments

Latest activity by Casey-Lev, on July 13, 2020 at 6:26 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 18, 2020 at 1:36 PM
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I don't think you shouldn't go just because she isn't to yours. but you mentioned your bachelorette is on her wedding day - so sounds like you can't make it anyway? unless the timing works out, that is.
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Savvy July 2020
Samantha · on June 18, 2020 at 1:38 PM
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Her reception starts at 6. So I was planning on going there for maybe an hour and that's it but I don't want to go super late out from a bachelorette party I was kind of hoping to go out at 6 for that.
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Master October 2022
Jana · on June 18, 2020 at 1:40 PM
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If you were invited, then by all means go and enjoy yourself. Is there any way you can attend both?
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Super December 2020
Anais · on June 18, 2020 at 1:40 PM
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If you’re her friend and want to celebrate her wedding then go. You should make your decision based on your friendship and not just whether she’ll make it to your wedding or not.
Now if your bachelorette party interferes with her wedding and the timing doesn’t work out then I would understand choosing the bachelorette first.
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Savvy July 2020
Samantha · on June 18, 2020 at 1:43 PM
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Thank you. I just keep going back and forth with it. I just didn't know what to do.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on June 18, 2020 at 2:18 PM
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I understand what you mean because we had a similar situation with my husband's friend. His friend got married a month before us and we attended their wedding, but they didn't attend ours. His wife is a nurse and she had to work. She had already taken off work for her wedding and their honeymoon so she couldn't take more time off for our wedding. We knew before we attended their wedding that they weren't attending. While it definitely sucked that they couldn't attend ours, it didn't make us any less friends of theirs.
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Dedicated December 2021
Roane · on June 18, 2020 at 2:39 PM
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Life events aren't quid pro quo. She's your friend. If you want to celebrate with her, if you think it'll be fun, accept that adult life is full of scheduling issues and go. You don't have to stay the whole time.
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Super November 2020
Natalie · on June 18, 2020 at 6:28 PM
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It sounds like you were initially excited to go until you found out she wasn’t able to come to your wedding. I’m sure your feelings are a bit hurt, as I’m sure mine would be, too. Because you already rsvped, I’d still go. She likely has already included you in the head count and has paid for your meal. Even if you can’t stay long, I think in the long run you’ll be more at ease if you make a quick appearance. If not, you’ll likely deal with the anxiety of seeing her when you get your hair done.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 19, 2020 at 2:08 AM
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If you RSVPed yes already then you should absolutely go— it would be rude to cancel this late in the game (she’s probably already paid for you). Also if you’re friends, you should want to go to her wedding just because you want to support her, not because of whether or not she can come to yours. Her ability to come to your wedding shouldn’t affect your attendance at hers.

There are all sorts of factors that play into someone’s decision/ability to attend a wedding, and we don’t get to know them all. There’s always a little bit more to the story. Like even if maybe a boss would grant an exception even though she’s already taken a lot of time off— personally, in my work there have been times I would’ve been *allowed* to take more time off but I still couldn’t take the time off because I simply couldn’t afford to not work after having been off already. The reasoning that she’s given may only be a part of what’s played into her decision , and you just have to take it for what it’s worth (many people decline without even giving a reason). It would be petty to skip her wedding just because she can’t come to yours or because you weren’t satisfied with the reason she gave.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on June 19, 2020 at 4:56 AM
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As someone who works shift work - please don't take her work schedule out on your friendship. With the shutdowns and the nature of shift work, she likely can't *afford* to take off both weekends... even if she thought she could have a year ago.
It's entirely possible they are short-staffed, and probably a lot of people are still scared to go to hair salons, and there's just not a lot of wiggle room with schedules.
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VIP March 2015
Nefetera · on June 19, 2020 at 7:48 AM
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Oh wow...thats a hard decison. It seems like it'll be petty if you didn't have anything planned.however now since you mention that's the day of your bachalorette event ...you will be busy that day as well. Did you RSVP? I didnt catch if you did you need to show...if you didn't i wouldnt go if its conflicting time with your day for your bachaloreete event.
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Savvy July 2020
Samantha · on June 19, 2020 at 7:58 AM
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I know she can't take off. I didn't want her to. She could work morning shift to see be there. The manager would work with her. She always worked with me. Idk. I just feel like she could careless to go BC like I said the manager is super eaay to get along with. She could talk to her and say hey I can work but need morning shift... That's I think the reason why I am feeling this way BC I know if she really wanted to be there she would have talked to the manager and work morning shift..
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Expert August 2020
Jodie · on June 19, 2020 at 8:26 AM
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There could be other things involved that make it difficult to work a different shift that day. If your basing your friendship on whether or not she can come to your wedding...are you really even friends? I hate to sound rude, but not everyone can go to everyone's events...and that is ok. People have their own lives and the reality of being an adult is sometimes you miss out on things. To not go to her wedding after already telling her you would be there is a childish, petty thing to do.
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Savvy July 2020
Samantha · on June 19, 2020 at 8:31 AM
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You're right. I guess I was just so excited to have her there that things come up...
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Super November 2020
Natalie · on June 19, 2020 at 9:52 AM
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As flexible as your former boss may be, the new restrictions on salons reopening could very well be playing a role. My salon was finally able to reopen to customers, but strict guidelines and a flood of a backup of clients has definitely changed things. Every other style station must be open to allow distancing, so stylists are strategically scheduled with this in mind. They are allowed to have one client at a time, so they are now unable to do cuts while a color processes. Extra time must be left in between clients to sanitize stations. Walk-ins are not permitted, and all customers must have an appointment. After being closed for over two months, appointments were quickly booked for the next month and half. With all this taking place, I’m sure your friend has little flexibility at this point in time, especially after taking time off for her own wedding.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on June 19, 2020 at 1:20 PM
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What I'm saying is that she could have. With the pandemic, those shifts may not be available anymore.
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Savvy July 2020
Samantha · on June 19, 2020 at 1:47 PM
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All of you ladies are making it a little bit easier to understand. I guess I was just so die-hard set on her coming and not missing it for anything and whenever she told me she can't it pretty much broke my heart.
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VIP June 2019
MIWM · on June 21, 2020 at 11:21 AM
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Go and enjoy yourself!
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Just Said Yes January 2021
Casey-Lev · on July 13, 2020 at 6:26 PM
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You will lose her friendship for life if you don't go to her wedding bcuz yourself is so damn important.
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