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Dedicated April 2020

Best Friend Not Happy

Helen, on June 24, 2018 at 2:42 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

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Have any of you experienced family or friends not being happy for you? If so, how did you handle it?

My gf surprised me & proposed last weekend on the beach. It was beautiful and romantic. She had will you marry me written in the sand with rose petals, & our families were there. She told my cousin and best friend about it beforehand. They couldn’t be there b/c we were on vacation.

We’ve been back a wk and my “bestie” has yet to say congratulations, how was your trip or anything. She hasn’t mentioned it at all. I was home 4 days before I heard anything from her at all & that was just a call to gossip.

She’s been married 10 years & her husband cheats & treats her & her kids (his stepkids) very badly but she won’t leave. She use to always bring it to our attention that she was married & we weren’t when we talked about relationship advice.

Well my cousin just celebrated her 2nd anniversary & I’m newly engaged. She made comments when my cousin was planning her wedding that let me know she was jealous. She didn’t even attend. She didn’t have a wedding, reception or honeymoon so I think she hated the fact that my cousin was. She felt that she had one up on us b/c she was the only one in the group married. Now I can tell she’s not happy for me. Especially being that I was the one who swore I’d never get married. I knew she was a jealous person b/c of things she’d say about others, but I didn’t think she’d act this way with me.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Helen, on June 25, 2018 at 11:18 AM

Devoted October 2018
Nnh1 · on June 24, 2018 at 3:27 PM
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This is a very unfortunate situation because we want those close to us to celebrate us in the good times and be a shoulder to lean on in adverse times. However, it does sound like she is jealous because even though she was married first her marriage has many problems. I don't think her behavior is limited to just this situation. I thinks she act indifferently in general, but it just hit home now because she is doing it with you. I would sit her down maybe over dinner or coffee and talk to her about your concern. Let her know you value her as a friend and care greatly for her, but you don't feel her support and is there a reason why. Based on her response you can determine how you will proceed with the relationship as a whole or the position she will play with your wedding.
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Dedicated April 2020
Helen · on June 24, 2018 at 3:30 PM
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Thank you for your response. I will try
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Master February 2022
Chris · on June 25, 2018 at 11:10 AM
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Hi, Helen- I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
It sounds like your friend is having a hard time being happy for you because of the problems she's having in her marriage. You've been given some good advice in Nnh1's comment so I'll just add this: your support system isn't limited to this one friend, so as hard as this situation is, remember that you want to be surrounded by those who love and support you through the wedding planning process and your marriage after that! Focus on your supportive friends and family, and if it's not going well with your bestie, maybe avoid wedding talk with her altogether. I hope it works out with the two of you!
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Dedicated April 2020
Helen · on June 25, 2018 at 11:11 AM
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Thanks for your advice
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Dedicated April 2020
Helen · on June 25, 2018 at 11:18 AM
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**UPDATE**
She finally came over last night. After about 30 mins she asked to see my ring. Then she told me that her and her SIL watched my proposal video together. These were her exact words “Me and Courtney watched the video together. She said it was kinda corny but cute, cuz you don’t see black people doing stuff like that.” For the next hour she talked about how this person’s food was nasty at their wedding or how that person’s bridal party didn’t look good. She had a lot to say about other ppls weddings to not have had one of her own. & she wonders why she’s not in mine.
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