“Best friend” is upset that she didn’t know about my bf’s proposal plans

Yes, we've had talks, and my fiance actually talked to my parents beforehand to ask for their blessing. Our immediate families both knew about it, so I don't really know what she wanted to achieve by messaging my sister about my fiance's relationship with my family (trying to get her to turn my family against us? did she think my sister would side with her?...). I guess this "friend" has a trend of stirring up some drama during events (like prom more than a decade ago)--I just always tolerated her because I thought it's harmless anyway. Thanks Hannah, really appreciated!

This sounds very high school of her, how old are you all? Sounds like she needs to grow up and work on her independence.

Of course she had no entitlement to know beforehand. If she's having trouble accepting this, that would be something for her to deal with.

Would she have any reason to be legitimately concerned? It seems very odd and creepy for her to go to your family behind your back!

Anyway, she's not the main character here, and I would re-evaluate the friendship.

What the heck?? There is absolutely no reason for him to tell your friends he is proposing beforehand, unless he is involving them in some way. Sounds like they both have some serious issues on their end that have nothing to do with you. I think you are correct to distance yourself from them. It does not sound like they are good friends who actually care about your life and your marriage.

I completely understand you feeling affected by this. My sister showed incredible disinterest when I announced my engagement to my family, and was pretty snotty in her response. I cried the whole drive home and it affected me for awhile.

Unfortunately some people are just snotty, and don’t like seeing you grow up and go in a different direction from them. And unfortunately, you also cannot change that about them. My advice: do not go out of your way for these ‘friends’ anymore. Obviously you know them, and we don’t, but they do not seem like the kind of people you want involved in your wedding festivities, or even on the day (if you’re willing to drop them). Sorry I’m fired up for you here lol

Wow, well now it's time to walk away from that friendship. A lot of her behaviours do seem very disturbing. Limit what she knows or finds out about your life from now on. Try and keep the drama low because this type will turn up the heat and make it about you.

So sorry you experienced that. I get what you mean about getting affected by things. I actually also cried over what my "friend" did, but I'm lucky my family is supportive. I hope your sister would come to terms with whatever she's feeling though.

My sister also said the same thing about how some people don't like seeing you grow up. When I tried to reason that I've been in a relationship with my fiance for 5 years already anyways so why is she reacting this violently only now, my sister told me that having a relationship is one thing, but getting married is a different kind of milestone in life. I guess it makes sense why this "friend" still brought up prom drama when she confronted me, when I feel that every other friend I know has long moved on from prom days.

I really don't plan on talking to her again anymore. It's just that we have a common friend who still makes the effort to talk to me, and sometimes this "friend" gets brought up in conversations (since the two of them still talk), so I get annoyed all over again.

Thanks Anna! Really appreciate the advice. Goodluck too!

Yes, I've decided to not talk to her again. It's quite difficult to totally eradicate her from my life because we have a common friend, and sometimes this "friend" gets brought up in conversations. Our common friend knows that the "friend" is in the wrong, but she doesn't want to side with anyone, so she still talks to us both (but she doesn't tell her whenever she talks to me or goes out with me).

So I guess that's really the most difficult thing as of now. I couldn't quite decide how to treat this common friend even if she's making the effort to talk to me. I'm still inclined to not tell her details about my wedding plans because a large part of me feels that she will tell the "friend" any information I give her, and "friend" will just find more things to criticize or ruin.

But thank you for the advice, really appreciate it!

Tell the remaining friend you really don't want to hear about or discuss this woman going forward. Your ex- friend sounds extremely immature and jealous. I think she resented your FI for interfering in your friendship and instead of recognizing that people go through different chapters in their lives with shifting priorities, she never got over it.

Your fiancé didn't owe her a heads up on a proposal , that's absurd. I could better understand her being hurt to hear about it online rather than in a personal way, but that's not what she said.

I see that you got some great advice on here. I went through something similar with what I thought was a good friend. I realized that friends support you through thick and thin and don't get jealous (not really). I had to cut off that relationship with her. She spoke poorly of my fiancé and had never wanted to meet him. Those kind of people only want to be your friend when they have complete control. (so weird) It stung a little bit to let her go, because I cared for her, but she was toxic!