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Savvy May 2021

Best Friend Drama

Makayla, on June 25, 2020 at 5:22 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 18

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So, i feel like my best friend is annoyed/not happy for me. I got engaged less than a week ago infront of mine and my fiancé’s friends on a beach trip, some of them knew because they were in charge of taking pictures, holding the ring, taking videos, making sure i didn’t drink too much (it was my birthday lol) but he didn’t tell everyone because he wanted to keep it a surprise! Annnd this friend has a long history of not being able to keep a secret. But she’s made snarky comments like “we get it you’re engaged” “how many pictures are you going to post” “that’s all you talk about” which makes me feel like i can’t be excited or talk to her about anything and idk if i should just give her space or confront her about it or if i’m just being way too sensitive 😂

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18 Comments

Latest activity by Alma, on June 27, 2020 at 8:32 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 25, 2020 at 5:26 PM
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I don't think you're too sensitive about it. but it might not be anything either. she definitely could be less snarky about it. is she usually sarcastic and stuff in general?
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VIP September 2020
Molly · on June 25, 2020 at 5:26 PM
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Geez. I'm sorry! Your friend should be happy for you! It is very exciting to get engaged!
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Savvy May 2021
Makayla · on June 25, 2020 at 5:27 PM
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Not like this, like we joke and kid but i feel like I can tell. plus she won’t reply to any texts/snapchats about engagement or wedding stuff so idk
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Super December 2020
Anais · on June 25, 2020 at 5:39 PM
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That sucks coming from your best friend!! Maybe give it some time and don’t mention the wedding for a few weeks. Talk about something else for now even though that sucks.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on June 25, 2020 at 5:40 PM
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Wow sorry to hear this. Maybe she has a bit of envy perhaps. Maybe she was just having an off day or week? I know she’s your best friend, but if you decide on having a bridal party I strongly suggest you talk to her more about the wedding to get the true vibes from her if you plan on choosing her as one of your BMs. The last thing you want is to be stuck with a bridesmaid or maid of honor that you wish you hadn’t chosen. Hope this helps and good luck!
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Super November 2019
Mrs. S · on June 25, 2020 at 5:41 PM
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Congrats on getting engaged! It sounds like a fun birthday trip and romantic proposal. Your friend is obviously dissatisfied with the way her own relationship(s) have gone and this feels like a slap in the face. I know it's not, everyone has their own timeline and she should be happy for you. But she is human too. Depending on her friends and family it can feel like everyone but her has something she desperately wants. The best thing you can do is keep being a good friend to her. I would find someone else to chat with about wedding stuff and give her some time and space.
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on June 25, 2020 at 6:10 PM
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I’ve reached a point on my life where I find it a lot easier to confront and find what’s wrong with people then keep wondering. If said friend is offended and walks away then guess what, they were never really a true friend. And if they aren’t true friends better to find out now then down the road
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Super August 2020
Emily · on June 25, 2020 at 7:50 PM
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Hmm might be worthwhile in asking her upfront why she’s not being supportive? It’s your time to be happy I don’t think her comments are necessary.
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VIP February 2020
Julie · on June 25, 2020 at 7:56 PM
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I mean I agree with pp that she should be happier and more supportive, but I'd also give it a rest with her for a bit regarding wedding talk. Please share with us on WW by all means! It's an outlet for us wedding-loving folk. Talk about normal friendship things. Is something going on in her life? Can you just chat or hang out and not mention wedding stuff for more of your interactions? She's probably also smarting about not being in on the surprise. I totally get it if she's not a good secret keeper, but she might still be hurt about it
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VIP October 2020
Anna · on June 25, 2020 at 11:56 PM
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I don’t think you’re being too sensitive about it. In fact I think the friend is being too sensitive. All I could talk about was my FH from our first date until a month or so after the engagement (I will say that our first date and engagement were only 2 months apart (and really I was taking about him plenty before we officially met as well). I would’ve been extremely hurt had my best friend when I met her for lunch a week or so after that first date told me to change the subject and stop talking about him. We were already talking wedding then.

I don’t know how to confront, except to be honest the next time she complains and let her know how that really hurts you.
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Super October 2021
Ashley · on June 26, 2020 at 4:21 AM
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You’re not being overly sensitive. That stuff is hurtful.
Talk to her about it. It sounds like it might be coming from a place of hurt feelings, so it’s better to get that out in the open. It’s also important for you to express your hurt feelings over her comments.
Also make sure that you’re not only talking about wedding stuff with your friends and family. While they’re happy for you, the stuff they have going on is also important. It’s good to have a balance so that it doesn’t seem like all you’re caring about is the wedding.
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Expert August 2020
Angel · on June 26, 2020 at 7:37 PM
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That's rude. Especially coming from your best friend. It's obvious she's jealous and doesn't want to hear about it all the time. But hell, my best friends bring up the wedding just as much as I do, if not more! You're not being sensitive at all. You know, my mom was actually the one who wasn't excited for months. It really hurt me because she's truly my best friend and I just didn't get why she wouldn't ask/talk/enjoy wedding things with me (but she's had a tough run with love and has come around since). What I did with my mom, was leave her out of it. Make it known that you can tell she doesn't want to hear about it, and don't discuss things with her. Not to mention (not sure who you're choosing) but she may not be the best choice for MOH.
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Devoted July 2020
Christina · on June 26, 2020 at 8:40 PM
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Unfortunately people show their real colors from the engagement and going forward. What she said shows Jealousy. Keep your excitement, enjoy it, being engaged is a special feeling, moment and you relish in it. As you start to think about a bridal party I would consider if you even want her in it.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 27, 2020 at 1:08 AM
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I agree. You’ve been engaged for only a week? I mean, if you bragged about if for 3-6 months I’d get it. She’s not being very supportive and needs to be called on it.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on June 27, 2020 at 7:26 AM
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Weddings don’t always bring out joyful feelings in others. Sometimes it’s the opposite reaction, due to their own personal reasons. The issue is on the side of your BFF. So that’s something that she has to work through on her own time and can’t be forced. In the meantime, don’t expect her to jump up and down with joy right now. Possibly share bits of info with another friend/family. But also be mindful not to become the bride who has nothing else to discuss with friends and nothing else going on in her life besides the wedding. Otherwise, that definitely gets annoying. 😉
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Super August 2020
Emily · on June 27, 2020 at 5:47 PM
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Even if you are talking about it for months she shouldn’t be rude about it lol it’s a big deal!! Hopefully she backs off a little bit and gets more excited. But don’t let it make you feel like you shouldn’t talk about your wedding 🥰
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Expert July 2022
Jmz · on June 27, 2020 at 7:02 PM
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Sometimes friends struggle to see their friends "happier" then they are. 🙄 It's pretty strange, yet a common human phenomenon. Of course, you are allowed to be excited about your wedding and be happy and joyful. If a "friend" is struggling to watch you be happy and needs to sew discomfort and make you feel not confident, that's not cool. Being said, not all friends can fit everything you need. Some friends are better at certain things, like a friend who's good at debate, or good at relationship advice, or good for a fun night. You know? Maybe she's just not gonna be that friend you talk to about your wedding.
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on June 27, 2020 at 8:32 PM
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It sounds like she may be a bit envious? But then again, idk how much you have been posting about it. I knew a girl who would post every single day a picture of her ring or hand and it did get annoying lol 😂
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