Best friend dilema

Unfortunately I had to watch my best friend go through a similar situation with one of her other (ex) best friends too. She had made it blatantly clear many times that she would never be more than a friend to him. He always backed off but then worked himself up to try again, regardless of if she was with someone or not. He even made one last attempt after she moved in with her man. She ended up having to cut that friendship off completely for a long time, and even now that they talk, they are only facebook friends now.

Unfortunately a guy who hasn't gotten the hint by now, probably never will. I know it kills you to end the friendship, but I wouldn't even want to risk your friend being at the wedding, lest he decide to pull the whole last second wedding-ruining "You can't marry him because I love you" thing.

Right? I wish I could tell you. Both how to deal with him as well as why people are like that. Just know I'm hoping the best for you on how to deal with this all

I agree. This is someone that will never be "just a friend". You need to cut things off. It's not fair to FH.

Yea ...I know. Long overdue. Its just too bad though. Outside of thinking he has a chance with me he has been a great friend.

Cut him off period.

Unless you feel underlining emotions, as a person if he does not get where you are coming from or respect your FH which to me he does not seem as if he does by acting that way, I would cut him off. There is no questions reasonings or justifications on why he is a good friend despite how you guys have been there in the past for each other. End of the day your honey is your #1 and he is disrespecting him by making little motions and moves to you.

Yes friends come and go thats LIFE but he was never a true friend if he disrespected your honey. To me this topic should not even be up for discussion he should be cut off period. Like I said before, unless you have some feelings for him I can see why it is hard however going forward. He is not just a friend, he is friend ZONED and trying to come out of it.

No feeling for him. I brought the subject up simply because it was heavy on my heart and wanted to share. Nothing more nothing less. But just so you know not everything is so black and white. In reality there are shades of grey. He is a person I consider family. Been knowing each other a long time. Raised our kids as cousins. Not because there are under lying feelings their on my part. As I mentioned, I honestly thought he was gay, he is very feminine. Not my type. So there is no friend zone waiting to come out LOL. I do appreciate your comments. And your right. All or nothing. That is the best way. But sometimes life just doesn't go that way

I understand and you are right there is no black or white in life. At all in any aspect but if this is your husband or FH that you are with now that means the world to you. Sometimes it is best to cut people off. All or nothing is the best in life because those grey areas can cause much conflict. I get it and I am sure it hurts that he is family or like family. You must have many years and memories which will NEVER be forgotten however that will not over weigh his disrespect to your FH. He is aware you are taken and starting a life and with someone else and his emotions are being put first before his respect not only to your FH but YOU. By disrespecting my FH is disrespecting me even if you are trying to show me flattery. If your kids are cousins or feel they are all cousins, then they can hangout as cousins and only that. That does not mean you have to be around him or have one on one time. Send your FH with him and your kids but you yourself do not have to be around him. If you end up being near him, don't do hugs do hand shakes or a wave. That is only if you want the kids to remain close if they are now. If not then yes walk away. If he is offended..in my unprofessional way of saying this, who gives a rats ass because the whole time he was trying to be flirty with you was offensive to you and your FH and your relationship. It will be sad at first but your life is to beautiful to worry, people come and go in life as long as you have the ones who matter, it will be okay.

Arlene, you can take your text honey! LMBO. I love your mindset. The grey areas are always the troublesome ones for sure. And yes. Everything you said is right. I am trying to fade away as we speak. Unavailable for lunch. On the phone can't talk now. Putting the baby to bed. Going out with honey. These are all the excuses I have come up with this week. Impossible to block him on everything because we go to the same Church. Next to impossible to find a new Church right now as it works for the kids and us so I need to stay there. So I am staying in contact out of habit and because I have to see this guy at Church. Trust me I NEVER would have befriended him if I would have thought for one second he was a threat. Just seemed like a very nice friend and down to earth guy. I didn't expect what happened to happen. And nothing is more important than my honey..and I will be MUCH better off without this guy in my life with all of his crap he is pulling lately. It sickens me! I am so disappointed in him. He knows I am not cut from that cloth and I just don't get why he would even remotely think....girl I could go on and on. Thanks for that tough advise. It is good advise. I will take it.

Don't call him out, cut him out! I think you know what you've got to do here, no reason to say anything more on it. Stop answering the phone, stop texting, things will fizzle out. Tell him you aren't comfortable with his disrespect for your relationship and you need to take a break from him, and when you return to your friendship it will be a different tune from you. Don't let him "Cop multiple feels" and put his arm around you or ask you to drink. The second he does one of those things, you stop texting, hang up the phone, or you leave where you are. It'll make you realize how often it's happening and it'll send the message very strongly that his behavior isn't ok. The second he tried to make a move on you I would have ended the closeness of the friendship. That there's an acquaintance now.