Best decision: No wedding party

I agree with you, Connie. Every early spring and early fall, there are WW posts every day about wedding party disappointment. Contrary to what many assume, many friends prefer to be guests in their own clothes rather than to be on a 48- hour schedule in matching clothes. Plus, if you decide to forgo a wedding party, anyone can still throw you a bridal shower or bachelorette if that is what you want.

Your friend's wedding sounds awkward with 28% of guests standing in the wedding party. I think her attempts to be political will backfire. Choose less drama, less stress, I say.

I would just focus on the friendship with your friend. You wouldn't want others to be the sole reason for declining any or all invitations. Plus, you will encounter many people who you don't vibe with, don't like, or actively avoid, and you have to figure out how to engage without being consumed. If they are mean girls who act mean, tell them direct you won't take their sh*&^. If they have drama, you can just move to the other side of the room and speak with someone else.

Sigh you're right! I'll focus on the friendship with my friend and try my best to minimize the interactions. They're mean girls who aren't mean to your face but would make malicious comments behind your back. Not my vibe. My main concern is getting involved in drama that would impact my friendship with my friend- hopefully nothing like that will happen

Yes definitely would need to have the conversation with her before the monogrammed stuff hahaa! I do have a lot of doubts because i've witnessed friendships end because of bridesmaid drama and it's so sad. I'm very risk adversed so minimizing contact with those other girls I feel like would protect my friendship with my friend and also my mental health. I'll talk to my friend soon and see if she'll be ok if I'm a bridesmaid but don't join their combined bachelorette/bachelor weekend because I don't think that will go so well when everyone is lit up. If she won't be happy with that then I'll let her know I would prefer to be a wedding guest instead.

Oh, if the bach/bachelorette is an entire weekend, I would definitely discuss with your friend that you are not comfortable with potential drug misuse. I initially thought your interaction with these girls was that 1 wedding day, sorry. Well, if the Bride doesn't respect your boundaries, then you can certainly offer to support her as a guest like you say. Good luck.

I would politely decline to be in the wedding party. Maybe say that you're not in a place to be able to do that for someone, but you're really looking forward to celebrating at the wedding. I would avoid going into detail about your concerns about the other people in the wedding party, because she might get defensive.