Being someone’s something blue

This all seems strange to me. I've never heard of brides picking people to be their "something blue". With her being vague on details to you and not telling you when plans change (such as not telling you that they decided not to do the getting ready and breakfast buffet at your house), it seems like she might be planning on getting ready with just her sisters? I think it would absolutely be fair to tell her that you are feeling confused from all the changes, and for you to directly ask her to clarify whether she wants you to be involved (and if so, in what way), or if she prefers that you just show up at the ceremony as a guest. If she says that she still wants you to be her "something blue", it sounds like she's OK with whatever blue dress you choose, as long as it isn't navy. You could show her your top three favorite dresses and ask her to choose one, or you could show her just your favorite dress and ask for her thoughts on it.

Part of the reason you feel so anxious is because this fairly recent social media trend is ambiguous as well as insulting. From what I've heard, "something blue" guests aren't wedding party at all. They're guests that wear their own blue clothes as a signifier of being special to the bride. To me it's insulting because now you're downgraded twice (your words), are told to purchase new clothes, your getting-ready breakfast was declined, and your Friend doesn't even want to discuss further. She really didn't think this out just as many misguided Brides. So I would take Lisa's suggestion and talk with her directly asking for instructions. Moreover, if she disregards your request again saying she's too busy, then reply, "well, if it's not that a big concern for you, I'm just going to wear the clothes I already picked out and sit where I want. You get ready with your sisters and I'll dress at my home, but save me a dance at the wedding." Then hug her and end the conversation .


As for not sitting with your BF, he'll be standing with the Groom as BM so cannot be with you. So if you sit independently instead of front row, then you can sit with another friend for the 20-40 minutes ceremony or even 40 min dinner afterward. I hope they don't do an antiquated head table. Truly find your own personal solutions to deal with your anxiety. The Bride nor anyone else can help you there.
You were trying to be a good friend, but the Bride is keeping the WP family. Try not to be offended, but protect yourself first by advocating for your needs. If this silly Blue thing is really not a big deal, then decline and do your own thing. If the Bride is in fact not a friend afterall, then decline the whole event. Good luck.

I think it’s sad she’s down graded you twice. Wear anything with blue ~ talk to your partner ~ make sure he checks on you and stays close . How does he feel about you being down graded. I think she should have left you in the wedding ~ not removed you totally. Dress how you want since she’s not communicating with you. I have a feeling the friendship may not last . Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him how confused you are. And make sure he is there for you !!