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Being bridesmaid 3 months after own wedding

K, on December 29, 2019 at 7:36 PM Posted in Planning 0 5

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So, I'm a little worried. One of my best friends has announced that she's getting married 3 months after my wedding. I'm thrilled for her, she's been with her FH for almost 10 years, and he's a great guy. She's also done so much for my wedding. She's one of my maids of honor and even flew across the country for my proposal.

The problem is, I'm pretty much paying for most of my wedding myself. I'm happy to do so...it was my choice. But I'll be broke at the end of it. My friend is already talking about going to Vegas for her bachelorette and having the bridesmaids throw her after party. These are all things I would be glad to do for her, but I don't think I'll have the money. How/should I bring this up with her? I've planned this for 2 years. I wasn't expecting to have this issue 😔

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Latest activity by Haley, on December 30, 2019 at 1:59 PM

Devoted March 2021
Kelly · on December 29, 2019 at 7:45 PM
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Just talk to her!! Explain your issue and I'm sure she will understand!! It's actually a very understandable situation and if she really is your best friend she will totally get it!! Seriously, just explain it to her, let her know how much it's bothering you and y'all will come to a conclusion!! Promise it's not as bad as it seems!! Good luck and congrats on your wedding!!
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on December 29, 2019 at 7:54 PM
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I would definitely explain this to her. I was the maid of honor in my brother's wedding four and a half months before my wedding. The decorator for their wedding included decorating for the bridal shower in the cost of decorating for the wedding so they paid for that. My mom got a gift card for like $50 from a local meat store so we ordered a cheese, cracker and meat tray from them for the bridal shower. I bought the cake. My grandmother bought the chips and drinks. We choose not to have the bridal shower at meal time so we only had snacks. My sister-in-law didn't want a bachelorette party. I was glad that I didn't have to spend a bunch of money because we paid for own our wedding as well. If you talk to your friend hopefully she will understand. You aren't made of money so she really shouldn't expect you to be able to do all of these things. She is the one that decided to have her wedding so close to yours.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on December 29, 2019 at 8:25 PM
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I am actually in the same boat as you. My wedding is in February and my friends is in May. I straight up told the rest of the bridal party that they’re welcome to plan a destination bachelorette party, but I would not be able to attend. Just be honest with them. Don’t overstep your finances because you don’t want to start a marriage off in debt. Your friend wants you by her side, and should certainly understand how much a wedding costs as she is also planning one. All you are required to do is to buy a dress and be a supportive friend. If you can’t afford anything else, just be honest and upfront about what you can and cannot do. If she has a problem with your limitations, that speaks volumes about her, not you.
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K · on December 29, 2019 at 8:32 PM
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Thanks all! This is really helpful! I wonder if I should talk to her now or wait until plans are being discussed in detail?
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Expert October 2020
Haley · on December 30, 2019 at 1:59 PM
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Has she asked you to be a MOH or BM yet?
if so, then I would mention it next time she brings up a detail (like vegas).
If not, I'd wait until she asks you to be MOH or BM and then say "i'd love to but heres what I'm dealing with...."
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