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Dedicated August 2022

Being a bride and bridesmaid

Sarah, on February 7, 2022 at 7:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 10

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My best friend is getting married almost a month after me. I’m starting to feel overwhelmed with the cost of not just my wedding but hers as well.

I know that it cost money to be in someone’s wedding but how do I say no to you’re very good friend. What do you do when you’re worrying about paying for your wedding and accommodations for your friends wedding.
Such as bachelorette fees, wedding shower, dress, shoes, hair and make up.. I can’t ask her to accommodate my needs but I’m also not the only one that’s like yikes this is all too much!
The moh is kinda just telling us how much everything is and what to give her instead of getting an input on what we can afford. That’s how it has been when I’ve been in weddings before .
So far I’ll be spending a little over 1000 if not just under that for both the bridal shower (that is less then a month before my wedding) and the bachelorette (which is two months before my wedding).

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Sloane, on February 8, 2022 at 10:53 PM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on February 7, 2022 at 8:15 PM
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You need to talk to that MOH. She has no right spending other people's money. When planning, she should be asking people their budget and planning accordingly.
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Dedicated August 2022
Sarah · on February 7, 2022 at 8:16 PM
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I agree how should I word that with out being rude lol it’s so hard to bring that up but I might need to be more assertive and that’s my problem haha
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on February 7, 2022 at 8:18 PM
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I would just be polite but firm and say that, while you're excited to help plan the bridal shower/bachelorette, the amount she is asking is more than you can afford and ask if the plans can be adjusted to accommodate the budget restrictions for all the bridesmaids.
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Super May 2022
Sloane · on February 8, 2022 at 9:47 AM
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I think I would politely decline by saying I would love to celebrate your day as a bridesmaid and I am honored that you have selected me but it’s just not economically feasible right now with all of the other financial commitments we have. Is there something else I can do to make this day special for you?
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on February 8, 2022 at 11:17 AM
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I feel like i'd do it but tell her of the things you can't make it to.
for instance my MOH lived out of state so she couldn't go to my bachelorette day and you know that's totally cool with me! if people can't make it, i'm not gonna be disappointed in them. i don't think anything is wrong for being like hey i wanna be a part of your day and life but there are things that i can't make it to or aren't in my budget, etc.
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Expert May 2010
Theresa · on February 8, 2022 at 12:20 PM
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I agree with Lisa. And, I would add that you just didn't realize the expense before saying yes to being a bridesmaid. How much are the BMs spending for your wedding? If less, maybe tell her you thought her wedding would be comparable, but you just can't afford $1000 right now.
It's possible that she doesn't realize how much the MOH is asking everyone to spend. Maybe she'll have a talk with her instead.
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Super May 2022
Sloane · on February 8, 2022 at 12:49 PM
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Thank you so much for that the thing is is that bride sometimes plan and are not aware of the expenses associated with bridesmaid and the financial pressure that some bridesmaids experience that are too shy to express concerning financial contribution. In my culture we pay for everything for the bridesmaids. I know my taste are pretty particular and I really didn’t want to put that pressure on anybody so I opted for us not to have any at all. The poster I think that this is an easy fix just be honest and if she’s your friend really understand.
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Dedicated August 2022
Sarah · on February 8, 2022 at 12:50 PM
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I was very honest and I’m glad I was!
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Dedicated August 2022
Sarah · on February 8, 2022 at 12:52 PM
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I said that, and it ended up being ok, but then it wasn’t :/ all I can do is be honest and if this is life’s way of saying they aren’t a real friend then so be it.
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Super May 2022
Sloane · on February 8, 2022 at 10:53 PM
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Good for you!!!! Life is easier when you tell it like it is.
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