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Dedicated April 2018

Behind schedule and feeling hopeless

Liam, on June 28, 2017 at 8:56 PM Posted in Planning 0 3

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FW and I have been dancing around important planning decisions for nearly 7 months with no decisions being made due to her very specific vision for the wedding. I've not successfully managed to convey to her that we don't have the luxury of deliberation if we want to meet our April date, and it's now gotten so bad that any mention of the wedding fills her with crippling, debilitating anxiety. She's refused help from my friends and family for fear they won't stay true to her yet-to-be-described vision, and I've neared the end of my optimism reserves. I won't be available from mid-July to December, and I informed my FW at the start of our engagement to which she agreed that I would play less of a roll in planning. I've lost faith that we'll be able to meet the previously agreed upon deadline, and my FW has demonstrated on numerous occasions that planning the wedding is not something she wishes to assume responsibility for. I'm thinking we should elope, but am open to advice.

Thanks

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3 Comments

Latest activity by S&J, on June 28, 2017 at 9:03 PM

Master June 2019
Jillian · on June 28, 2017 at 9:00 PM
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Hi Liam! Thanks for seeking advice here. I think you both should have a sit down conversation about what you both want. Does her vision align with yours? Is she worried about finances? Can the date be changed? You don't technically have a date until a venue is booked and it's set in stone.
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Master July 2017
StPaulGal · on June 28, 2017 at 9:02 PM
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I'm not trying to be indelicate here...but are you sure she actually wants to get married? If it has been 7 months with zero progress and she refuses to discuss anything because of a "vision" she can't even pinpoint, then it sounds like this is less of a wedding planning logistics problem and more of a mismatch of intentions.
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Master August 2017
S&J · on June 28, 2017 at 9:03 PM
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Have you guys booked a venue? If not, you do not have a date. You just have a tentative hope. With only 7 months to go, depending on where you live and her "vision", booking a venue may be nearly impossible. Perhaps it is time, like @Jillian said, to sit down and have a serious conversation about what is priority to her and you.
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