Backyard wedding

Generally it is not a good idea to tell the guests what to wear. The extent of direction on this is usually just to keep people from standing out or not meeting a venue requirement. Sure there are some places where black tie formal is required. Sometimes you may share that a general direction so people don't wear a suit and formal wear to a beach wedding.

Some people do achieve a themed party but you really have to decide what your guests will agree to -- and whether they would reject invites if they had to purchase something for the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Does it make a difference that it will only be my parents brothers and their families as well as his parents his brothers and grandparents? If it's still rude to ask for a specific set of color tones then that's fine I understand but just curious

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That is a small enough group where you could ask people individually. They may agree but really they should be there as family and guests rather than as props for pictures. It might work out okay or you just avoid certain pictures that don't match your theme.

There will be more people responding to your question. See what the say too.

View Quoted Comment I appreciate the opinion and yes obviously I want them there to embrace us and be there for us but I was just thinking of different ways to incorporate them into the wedding-maybe that makes more sense. Since we won't have a bridal party to show off our colors I was thinking the guests could do it -thats more the route I was trying to go. If that still sounds kinda crappy then I'd be happy to hear a different suggestion 😅

Hey Bre!

I have seen people do this and I don't think it's that big of a deal, depending on how many guests you plan to invite. I see that you said it would be intimate. So I'd say that if it is under like... 30 people and you give them plenty of heads up, I think it's okay!

The general wisdom is that you shouldn't try to tell people what colors to wear. That being said, since you're having a smaller number of people who are assumingly closer to you, I'd weigh whether this is something they'd be receptive to doing. You can always have your colors show through florals, decorations, linens, lighting, etc.

Usually I would say that you shouldn't tell people what to wear to your event, the exception being black tie. If it's truly just immediate family, then I would float the idea and gauge the response. I think you'll know pretty quickly if people are willing to do that. However, I do think it's an imposition, and I would side eye this a little.

Speaking honestly, I would be annoyed to be told what color to wear unless I was a bridesmaid - even if it was say…my cousin. As a guest not part of the wedding party, that’s a freedom that should be allowed to them.


There are other ways to incorporate color schemes other than a wedding party. You can do this using flowers, a sash/belt on your own dress, groom’s suit/shirt/tie, tablecloths, and other decor items.

Mom, Dad, aunt, or uncle might not be comfortable in certain colors and will want to wear what they feel most confident in.

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I agree with all of this. I don't always want to buy/have the budget for a whole new outfit for a wedding, even for someone I am close to.

"Since we won't have a bridal party to show off our colors I was thinking the guests could do it." Not having a bridal party is pretty irrelevant here. Lots of people don't have one and yet still have wedding colors show up in decor, their own clothing, etc.

I went to one wedding where we were all asked to wear either shades of blue or beige/tan. It was a small close family affair and the pics really did come out nice. I look at in the same way that families coordinate clothing colors for group family pictures. You know your people - if you don't feel they will mind (and might enjoy the pics that result) - go for it.