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Just Said Yes June 2022

Backlash from 18+ wedding

Grace, on September 6, 2021 at 7:34 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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Hi! So I am getting married next summer, and I’ve always wanted a child free wedding. I’m just one of those people who do not enjoy being around other peoples children. I want everyone to be able to relax and enjoy themselves and not have to worry about children running around and causing problems. Obviously some kids are well behaved but I feel like I can’t justify inviting some kids and not others based on their kids behavior. I just truly believe kids do not belong at weddings. They typically do not enjoy them. We also have an open bar, it’s on the beach with sand and there are accessible cliffs. The venues rules are really strict that kids are not allowed to play in the sand/water or go onto the cliffs. my fiancés aunt and uncle have a older kid who refuse to listen to that rule and just won’t come if their precious child isn’t invited, and to be honest that’s totally fine but they are the ride for my fiancé‘s grandparents. So essentially they forced me to invite the kid or else they all won’t come. His grandparents are obviously very important to him and we want them to be there. They live out of state so it’s not like we can just drive to go get them ourselves. I eventually caved and I’m allowing that one child to come. We still intend on telling everyone it’s 18+ only and just pretend we didn’t know that kid was coming.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Alyssa, on September 7, 2021 at 11:56 AM

Expert August 2021
Katie · on September 6, 2021 at 8:11 PM
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Is there anyone else in the family that could bring his grandparents?
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January 1895
Jessa · on September 6, 2021 at 8:25 PM
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The thing is, you can have any wedding you want. If you don't want kids, don't give in. This means the grandparents won't come. Well, that's a consequence of your decision. It doesn't have to be negative unless you let it be or your future spouse makes it. Also, the aunt and uncle didn't force you to do anything. You weighed your options and chose to allow the child.
It sounds like they are coming from another state, so I am not sure what you thought they would do with their child for at least one overnight. That's a lot to ask of people ( i know not everyone agrees, but that is my opinion) You sound really upset with the Aunt and Uncle and that is unfair. You stated your preference, they told you theirs. No one is wrong here. You chose to give in because it was more important for the grandparents to be there then to hold this rule. Its not their fault that you gave in or that the grandparents don't have another ride.
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Super March 2022
Candace · on September 6, 2021 at 9:45 PM
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You don't have to pretend anything about your FH's younger cousin there. I don't think anyone will ask how dare you allow a child family member come but not any other kids. It would actually be pretty rude to make it seem like they didn't tell you they were bringing their kid when they actually made it clear to you. It sounds like your FH's grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin come as a package deal. That's just how it goes. It's not going to ruin your day to have a kid there.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on September 6, 2021 at 10:00 PM
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Don’t invite the entitled aunt and uncle. Work out transportation so grandparents can attend without them. There are other way left for them to get there. And yes you will have people wondering why one lone unruly child is in attendance while they have to find childcare, but they will talk among themselves and not tell you.
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on September 6, 2021 at 10:35 PM
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A lot of people invite children in circles. I doubt anyone is going to get huffy at you on your wedding day because one kid is there
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Expert August 2021
Katie · on September 7, 2021 at 7:41 AM
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I agree with this. I would do everything possible to make sure that the kid isn't allowed. Not being of him but because of is rude entitled parents you don't need to have at the wedding.
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Expert October 2021
Katherine · on September 7, 2021 at 9:08 AM
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I'd try and get the grandparents there some other way. That is completely rude of them to force something on you that you are in charge of and paying for. It's your wedding. If you don't want the kid there then that's your decision not there's. I don't understand why the kid wouldn't follow the rules of the venue.
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on September 7, 2021 at 11:07 AM
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You can hire a driver to go across states and transport the grandparents. Disinvite the Aunt and Uncle bullying you a year before your wedding.
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Super December 2021
Alyssa · on September 7, 2021 at 11:56 AM
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If you are inviting no kids because they obviously make you uncomfortable, and this child is PARTICULARLY ill behaved, don't cave to entitled family members. It will ruin your night if said child starts screaming, digs into your cake before you guys cut it, etc.
Tell the parents, "we regret that you won't be able to attend, we hope to see you at ______ (insert next family function here). If you think that you might be able to find childcare for Junior, we would love to have you!"
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