Bachelorette

Sorry girl for what you’re going through. Sucks that he agreed at first than changed his mind.

I am sorry but at the end of the day it is a crazy time and Miami is not the safest right now. It does suck but at the end of the day sometimes personal matters can affect these pre wedding events. Do not let it get you down. You will have a great time.

If everyone already split the cost and she paid for her part and couldn’t end up going then I think it’s ok

I definitely get how much it sucks, and it's ok for you to be upset. However, no one is required to go to pre-wedding events, bridal party members may not be able to for a variety of reasons. Also, the fact that her husband is very controlling as a general is worrisome for your friend.

Bachelorette parties, like all other pre-wedding events, are optional, not mandatory. It's disappointing that she isn't going, but it should never have been made part of the condition of her accepting the role of Bridesmaid. In addition, with COVID-19 I don't think it's surprising that her husband isn't comfortable with her traveling to Miami (though the whole controlling husband is another issue altogether - are you worried about your friend?). There is a good chance that other people will drop out between now and whenever you have the party too. Miami is a hotspot, as is Florida in general, and there's no way I would be traveling there within the next 6 months at a minimum, probably longer. You should prepare yourself for changing numbers and dropouts as long as there is a pandemic occurring, and try not to take it personally.

Truthfully, being in the bridal party doesn’t mean one is required to go to the bachelorette party, especially if out of town in the middle of Covid! There are many reasons she might not feel comfortable going, even if she originally was up for the idea— concerns over the virus, finances, unable to request time off work, travel distance in general, pregnancy, etc. While it may be her husband who doesn’t want her to go, it may be that she isn’t comfortable with it at this time and is using him as an excuse!

Thanks for all your input this is actually in January not anytime soon. The frustration was from the planning.

View Quoted Comment

Even in January I would not be willing to travel to Miami.