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Jocelyn
Beginner June 2020

Bachelorette Party???

Jocelyn, on April 30, 2020 at 11:20 AM Posted in Parties and Events 1 34
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My mom is upset because I don’t want her or my junior bridesmaid (12 year old sister) to come. I’ve tried explaining to her that I would just feel uncomfortable and not free to talk about the things I want to talk about or laugh with my other bridesmaids. She’s getting upset and saying that I’m kicking her out of something important to her. I’ve tried to offer having something separate for the both of them to come to but I don’t want to budge because it’s only one time I’m going to be able to have a crazy celebration like this and I want to have fun and feel comfortable. Am i being wrong?

34 Comments

Latest activity by Laura, on May 3, 2020 at 9:52 PM
  • Morgan
    Devoted December 2020
    Morgan ·
    • Flag
    Not at all!! Usually moms don’t come to the bachelorette party. I’m having my mom and my future MIL, but that’s only because we aren’t doing anything crazy and they are really fun to hang out with. It’s completely your decision😊


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  • A
    Expert December 2020
    Anais ·
    • Flag

    I understand where you're coming from. If you plan on going out, partying, getting drunk etc... I wouldn't want my mom to that type of celebration either, much less someone underage. Have you told her what you could set up as an alternative event with all 3 of you? If you haven't, maybe make an actual plan of what you could do together and see if that helps make her feel more included.

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Not wrong at all! She’s being a bit silly. Is there a bridal shower? She can attend that. Or perhaps you can take the moms out (yours & your MIL) to a brunch? But feel free to stand your ground on the bachelorette party.
    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP July 2021
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    Maybe plan another day to celebrate with her and your sister? Maybe they just want to celebrate before and feel their importance of their “place” too?
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    Moms are typically not included in the bachelorette party. At least not that I've heard of. Agree with others that maybe trying to plan something different with her may be nice, like a spa day. It also makes total sense to not want to include your 12 year old sister either.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Expert November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    I agree with everyone else, you are not wrong. Is there some way that maybe you can start the events earlier, like do an early dinner, that she and your junior bridesmaid can participate in and then let you and your other bridesmaids go out after? I’ve been to bachelorettes where younger bridesmaids and mothers have attended...but that person was very very family oriented and not interested in a lot of drinking or staying out too late, so what she planned was age appropriate and didn’t make her feel embarrassed. You should absolutely feel comfortable to go out with your bridesmaids that are closer in age and enjoy the night!
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    You are not wrong at all. Mother's are not meant to attend bachelorette parties! I can't believe she would even ask. She should attend your shower(s) and/or luncheons and be happy with that!

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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you are wrong at all! you wanna be able to let loose! maybe you and the jr bridesmaids and your mom can do a separate day together

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  • Margarie
    Dedicated September 2021
    Margarie ·
    • Flag
    Not wrong at all. It’s not at all an appropriate event for either of them to attend. I hope she comes around to understanding and you get to let your hair down and enjoy yourself.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Is she maybe confusing your bach with your bridal shower? Or is there a cultural component in play that we're not seeing? Otherwise, I'd find it strange if my mom thought she was coming to my bachelorette/getting upset about not being invited.

    I'm glad you're planning something for junior bridesmaid separately, as she deserves to feel included, too.

    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Dedicated July 2021
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    Bachelorette parties are for the Bride and her friends to let loose —I haven’t been to
    or heard of a bachelorette party where the mother or any underagers have been present
    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Devoted July 2021
    Chelsea ·
    • Flag
    I know brides that do 2 Bach parties. One with go out to bars with the girls. And the other will do dinner or like a local game with older ladies like moms aunts grandmas and stuff...
    • Reply
  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    I think it would be really weird to have a mom and minor at a bachelorette party. It's also not typical for those people to be involved, so I don't know why your mom thought she would be invited and has decided it is important to her. Are you having a shower at all? Could you have a bachelorette party/weekend with your girls and then do a "bachelorette brunch" that includes your your mom and junior bridesmaid, that way they can participate in a part of the pre-wedding fun but also you are free to have a girls night where you don't have to worry about being filtered and proper?

    • Reply
  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
    • Flag
    I’ve never been to a bachelorette with anyone’s mom or anyone under the age of 21. So I don’t think you’re in the wrong. Can you plan a daytime or local bachelorette with them? Like a dinner and maybe bowling or something?


    I’m a weirdo though and actually invited my mom and 16-year old sister for a part of my bachelorette in Vegas. Haha my sister was part of the wedding party so I wanted her to feel like a part of the bachelorette party, pluuuus they were just there for part of it which was a chill night at a restaurant and brunch the next day. However, my mom is super chill and was like our personal photographer and let my sister take a shot and drink mimosas with us in the room. Trust me— it was a first for all my girls, but they adored my mom. Lol

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  • Megan Flanagan
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    Megan Flanagan ·
    • Flag
    You could always have a beginning party, like a couple of hours that they are included in and then the rest of you can go off to another place and do the stuff that you don’t necessarily think it’s appropriate for your mom and your junior bridesmaid to be involved in. That way they are sort of involved in the bachelorette party but not for the entirety of the thing and not necessarily for the parts you feel uncomfortable with.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    Savvy June 2021
    Molly ·
    • Flag
    I don’t blame you at all. Bachelorette parties are supposed to be fun and you’re supposed to go a little crazy. I’d feel really uncomfortable with my mom and little sister being there
    • Reply
  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
    • Flag
    No, you're right. However, having a second party is also okay.


    You can have an "Extended Bachelorette." I had a second party for a reason: my first one was a weekend away at Disney. Only my bridesmaids were invited to this one and not everyone could make it. While planning this one, it was decided that a second one would be planned for the same weekend as my bridal shower and it would be local. I was able to invite more people to this one.
    If you want to do something with your mom and sister during your Bachelorette, you can have a Bachelorette brunch with everyone the next morning that is more age appropriate for your sister to attend. Or, you could all go out to dinner the night of and then part ways with your mom and sister after the meal.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag

    Not at all. I've never heard of moms or 12 year olds being invited to a bachelorette party lol.

    • Reply
  • E
    Devoted July 2021
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Definitely not wrong! You could start with an afternoon event or earlier night dinner though and include them in that way? Then break off for the rest of the night to let loose with your friends.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Dedicated September 2020
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    Not wrong at all! It’s YOUR day, it’s borderline selfish (no disrespect to them at all) if they make you feel bad for not being welcomed to a bachelorette that you want to celebrate and just be carefree at! They can enjoy the time at the bridal shower and another day you 3 going to do something! It will all workout! You are the bride!!
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