F
Dedicated October 2019

Bachelorette party

Future Mrs Wilson, on August 22, 2019 at 2:58 PM Posted in Planning 1 14
Saved Save
Reply
So my moh contacted everyone six months ago to determine duties. My moh is my sister and her and my aunt who is my matron were handling the bridal shower this Sunday. My other two bridesmaids said they would do the bachelorette party. Fast forward with two month to go I have heard nothing abt the bachelorette party. So I text them to see if they at least have a date in mind. One of them text back that they dont have money and we could do a paint and sip at her sisters house.

Now these are supposed to be my bffs. I asked them to be in the wedding December 2018. I understand the money issue. But why not speak up sooner abt it? Also it seems like unless I asked they werent going to bring it up?! Unfortunately this is there regular. Anything having to do with me, they never have money.

I just feel like no planning went into the bachelorette party. Like it was an afterthought. I'm very hurt by this. My moh and sil are now planning the bachelorette party. But for me it's the principle of it. Btw the second bm never even responded.

14 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    Likely felt pressured by your sister and aunt to take responsibility for something that they couldn’t afford. Going to your friend and telling them that you don’t have money to throw them a party is an uncomfortable and humiliating conversation. Be happy that you’re getting a bachelorette at all and stop focusing on who is doing what for you.
  • Lady ·

    It sucks they backed out after agreeing to do it. But no one should have asked them to do it in the first place. You only get showers and bach parties if someone OFFERS to host one. No one should be pressure or coerced into doing so. You may have to adjust your expectations a little since and scale back your plans if you'd like them to participate.

  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·

    I agree with PPs that too much pressure was placed on them. Bachelorette parties are completely optional and never a requirement. Lower your expectations and remember that your bridal party has no duties other than buy the correct dress and show up on your wedding day

  • Jill
    Dedicated May 2020
    Jill ·

    I agree with what the previous posters have said. Talking about money issues is never a comfortable conversation and they likely were feeling embarrassed by the fact that they couldn't afford to throw you the party you want. Like Caytlyn said, they probably felt as though they had to throw it just because your MOH assigned that duty to them. I would try and talk with them and see if there is anything else they are struggling with since wedding can be expensive and you have already stated that you feel like they never have any money when it comes to you. However, you say they are your best friends and you chose them for that reason. I would focus on why you are friends with them and appreciate what they are able to do for you and that they are planning on standing by your side on the most important day of your life. Good luck

  • F
    Dedicated October 2019
    Future Mrs Wilson ·
    I wasnt a part of the conversation so I dont know if they offered or not or were pressured to do so.I was just told of who would be doing what.
  • F
    Dedicated October 2019
    Future Mrs Wilson ·
    View Quoted Comment
    That's good advice. Thank you
  • Jill
    Dedicated May 2020
    Jill ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Of course. I know it isn't easy, but be thankful they are able to be there! I just found out that my MOH is being deployed and will likely not be able to come to the wedding at all (waiting on exact dates). There are always worse situations to be in! I really do hope it all gets sorted out for you though!

  • FutureMrsD
    Legend July 2019
    FutureMrsD Online ·

    It does seem odd they didn't reach out sooner explaining the money issue, or planning a cheaper option. It's great your MOH and SIL stepped in, I'm sorry about the other two BMs.

  • Brittany
    Savvy November 2019
    Brittany ·
    I agree it’s hard to discuss money, but the two BMs should have been more upfront to someone. There are a plenty of ideas that don’t involve a whole lot of money.
  • Shanita
    Dedicated September 2020
    Shanita ·

    To be honest...I would reconsider having them in the wedding. Have they purchased their dresses yet? If not...are they gonna pull the "I don't have money" card when it comes time for that? That is really disheartening. And the fact that one of them didn't even bother responding...smh. I would have 2 less bridesmaids...or replace them. If they don't care about how special this day is to you, they shouldn't care that they are no longer in the wedding...IMO.

  • F
    Dedicated October 2019
    Future Mrs Wilson ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes, they bought the dresses. Trust me I've thought abt it, lol
  • Shanita
    Dedicated September 2020
    Shanita ·
    View Quoted Comment

    LOL...I know it sounds harsh, but even if they felt pressured. They should not have waited until the last minute to say something. That's messed up. Good luck with everything hun. I hope your wedding and pre-wedding festivities are amazing!!!

  • F
    Dedicated October 2019
    Future Mrs Wilson ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much!😍😍
  • Misty
    Super October 2019
    Misty Online ·
    This seems to me like you have all the evidence you need to know who is happy to put you and your happiness as a priority in their life and who isn't.

    What a wonderful gift. Clarity.

    Love on those that love you, and let go of the disappointments from those that don't.

Comment on this discussion

×