Bachelorette Party: Who plans it if i don't have a bridal party?

Same thing here, only have 4 people in my bridal party. So far the bachelorette trip planning has fallen on me alone (I’ve planned and participated in too many to count). MOH started to help/give ideas and then as soon as we set a date and my sister-in-law booked her flight my MOH told me she can’t come and hasn’t helped with planning since then (for completely understandable reasons beyond her control).

It feels like a lot to have to plan this plus FH and I are doing all the wedding stuff by ourselves. Everyone warned me that so many people try to but in and help that it’s overwhelming but so far no one has offered to help with anything! We’ve been engaged for 10 months and the wedding is 4 months away. Thank god for my FH is all I can say! I’ve started to feel really overwhelmed so he took over finding the air B&B and booking activities for my bachelorette trip. Maybe see if your fiancé can help out so you don’t feel like you have to plan your entire party by yourself? We also decided not to have a couples shower/bridal shower because it was looking like all that planning would fall on us too.

I think unfortunately, that's what a bridal party is for. If you don't have one, they aren't really obligated to plan anything for you. So if you want one, I'd just do most of the planning yourself and invite whoever you want. It would be awkward for a friend to step up & plan since they wouldn't know who should plan (since there is no MOH).

If you don't have a bridal party I think you do have to take charge yourself. Maybe make a fb group of ladies you want to attend and they can give ideas to help plan.

I have three bridemaids, two being out of state. I'm flying up there for my bachelorette and told my MOH I'd like to invite friends that live up there to participate since I know it may be a lot for them to be able to make the wedding. It'll be about 10-12 depending who would be able to come.

I would say if you don't have a wedding party there isn't anyone who feels like they need to take charge at all. You can plan a girls weekend if you want one though.

Wow, that is really unfortunate and I am sorry that you feel so left out. I completely understand how you feel because my FH is going through something similar. His groomsmen are his brother, and two friends, and none of them have run anything by him, or even asked him if he wanted a bachelor party. Granted, my FH is atypical and doesn't drink or go to parties, there are still a lot of things they could plan for him and he's been feeling so left out recently when I mention how my BMs are planning mine.

So, I took matters into my own hands and I obtained his brother's phone number and texted him privately telling how him how his brother felt and inquiring if they were doing anything for him. He claims he was planning on something, but who knows. I think it's funny how the very next day, my FH said his brother called him to discuss bachelor party ideas with him.

What I'm trying to say is, take the matters into your own hands if you truly want to have a get-together, and enjoy yourself.

I am with ya girl! LOL

All my closest friends and family live very far away so I didn't expect too much but they will all be in town the week of my wedding. No one has offered to plan anything or come up with any ideas. My 2 best friends, I did everything I could for their weddings and while they have both offered to help with any projects... anytime I have asked any advice or for help on something.... I don't really get any help or advice. Definitely doing this on my own. And while I am happy to... It is also frustrating and it would be nice to feel some more support.
I have no advice or words of wisdom. Just know that you are not alone.

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Thank you by the way... Everyone told me that we would have so much help from everyone... For this and that and blah blah blah.... Not one single person in either of our families has offered to do anything and followed through except my Mother who can't do much living hecka far away from me.

Like the pp said if you have no BP you have no one to plan it. I haven't asked anyone to be in my bp yet so literally no parties are planned. I am definitely not throwing any for myself either.

You don't have one

No, you aren't alone. A lot of Brides plan their own, due to logistics, the schedule of their BP members, or people are spread out over different states. First take a deep breath. It WILL be fun and amazing, it just takes some leg-work up front. I just got back from mine this weekend. We went to New Orleans. I did most of the planning, my MOH did help me, but she has a very busy schedule and didnt feel right to drop it on her door step.

Simplify the planning. It sounds like you are doing a trip. So, you have the place checked off the list. As far as food, can you order in, plan to go out, and for snacks just stop at a grocery store, cvs, or 7-11 once you get there? That is another check off your list. You may or may not have the accommodations taken care of- thats the hardest part. Get everyone's budget, make a reservation accordingly. You can use your card to hold the rooms, they can pay individually when you all arrive.

As far as activities, just have one or two things you want to do, especially if you need appointments (spa). Otherwise, hit up the local tourism center and everyone pick up brochures they are interested and go from there. OR, check out groupons for the area and time you will be there. Go for a lightly structured trip. Its much less stressful to plan, and you will be able to fill in the spare time once you get there.

Granted, we went to NOLA, so a lot of the activity planning could be done once we got there. But we had a wonderful trip, and everything was very fluid and non-stressful, with only 2 things on the schedule before we got there. You can do this. And it will be EPIC.

Also, create a group with those who will be attending so they can share ideas online [maybe a facebook group], this is how they will pick and "take it from here". Those types of things work themselves out. You may be surprised how awesome a trip can be with much less planning than you anticipate. The accommodations, travel, and making sure you are in budget for the attendees is really the only stressful part, and it sounds like you have most of that already covered. If there is something specific you want, or need help with, maybe ask the group and see if anyone can pick up that tasks or provide you with assistance. It can be hard for people to know you need help, or to offer help, when they dont know you need or want it.

Unfortunately as the bridal party, their only role is to buy the dress and stand by your side during the ceremony. Helping with throwing a shower or a bachelorette are just extras. I sometimes wish I can partake in pre-wedding events but I know it's not an obligation for the bridal party to plan so I have to accept how things are. I know you might feel disappointed because I always wished for celebrating prior to the wedding but after awhile I just focused all my energy on the day I will marry my significant other. The marriage is more important than pre-wedding parties.

You chose to plan this party for yourself and are now complaining that no one is helping you plan it? Doesn't make sense to me. Usually if there is no bridal party, a close friend or family member will offer to throw a bachelorette party or bridal shower. If no one offers, there usually just isn't a party. Maybe there is a reason no one has offered? Maybe they do not have the funds or time right now to commit to the planning and actually attending? It's great that you have done these things in the past for your friends. But that does not obligate them to throw you a party now.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this Pamela! I definitely understand your frustration, as your bridal party should be alongside you to aid with planning such a memorable event; however, I wouldn't let that stop you! I think you should continue planning it! You can still inform them to see who wants to help, and just try your best to see what can happen! Relax, take it easy, and don't allow this to stress you!! Everything will be fine! Hang in there!!

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Thank you for such a detailed and positive response! We live in south Florida and I'm planning on going to Bimini so travel is really the headache (although not expensive because we are so close). The logistics are just tough because there really aren't "supermarkets" on the island. I guess I'm just being over sensitive. For the Bahamas trip I planned I literally checked an extra suitcase that had everything we needed for our house, down to extra toilet paper, I planned meals we could cook at the house (they have supermarkets in Nassau Bahamas), I cooked those meals, arranged transportation to and from the airport and every activity we planned (boat ride, fancy night out). I'm good at that kind of stuff so its not like I can't figure it out, I just hoped that my kindness and effort would be reciprocated thats all.

And I'm not having a bridal party because I would literally have 12 bridesmaids and that is just insane. Also FH was previously married and he probably won't have as many friends able to attend this time around, they mostly live in another state and have already done the "travel" thing for his first wedding.

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Thank you Neffe, thats very sweet

I totally empathize, since I am always the friend that organizes everything lol. It’s probably a combination of the fact that 1) they aren’t bridesmaids so no one knows who’s responsibility it is, and 2) the personalities of your friends, vs your personality. Some people just aren’t planners and let other people take the reins, regardless of the situation

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My pleasure Pamela! Best of luck with everything! Hope to see you around the community!!