Bachelorette Party Weekend Etiquette

If that many people are tight on cash, why don't you suggest that y'all just do a day out where you are? Not going away for a whole weekend doesn't mean it's any less special

She has bridal balls of brass, frankly. Two showers and a weekend away in the Hamptons ? Whether or not you go? That is outrageous for sure.

No. Just no. The whole bach thing has gotten out of hand, honestly.

Me? I'd step away from the whole deal, but if you dont feel comfortable, you simply tell the MOH that you are not financially prepared to be a part of all these celebrations. The issues? They are ones that she created, not you. No guilt, no shame on your part.

A little money to cover the bride might be nice but not necessary if you can not attend due to financial reasons. They should have picked something everyone could do.

The MOH should have checked with all of you re your budget before she planned the bachelorette.

I would keep it simple " Sorry, I can't afford to attend."

I would send a separate note to the bride wishing her a wonderful time and wishing that I could be there for her.

Why would you be expected to pay if you cant go? That's ridiculous! I'd let them know you can't afford it because its a stupid amount of money to pay for completely optional parties.

I think it should be on the MOH to shoulder the financial burden of her own plans. I'm in a wedding in March for my college roommate. I helped her MOH plan the shower & am participating in the bachelorette. At the shower the MOH made it clear she was going to handle the majority of the bill since it was her idea, and asked how much we were able to contribute individually. I contributed more than the other 3 bridesmaids since I helped host but not as much as MOH. Then with the bachelorette- due to some financial restrictions of a couple other bridesmaids we're going from a weekend in Palm Springs to a day spa & dinner/cocktails in LA. I think it's unrealistic of your friend's friend to expect you to pay for a party you aren't even going to. There's a bm of my friend who wasn't at the shower & wont be at the bachelorette since she lives out of town and not for a moment did any of us expect her to pay one cent towards our voluntary parties.

I'm sorry what?

In what world do you have to pay for something your not attending also if lots of the bridesmaid are on a budget why is the destination literally one of the least budget friendly places..

Sounds to me like your friend the bride and MOH want a fancy weekend and dont really give a crap what everyone else thinks

Also I am a firm believer that any bach parties that are out of town the bride covers her own portion. I had an out of town bach which my friends all wanted and stayed under budget and paid my own flight hotel etc..they bought me some drinks and a dinner which I thought was super generous as they all already paid for a weekend away

It's one thing to have a bunch of girls split a local night out (even then it must be in everyones budget and pre approved) then to split airfare hotels and pay their own part as well

Definitely do not pay for anything regarding the bachelorette if you're not attending. That's an absurd expectation, and not how this works.

I also think the bride needs to cover her own accommodations and any travel expenses. Yes, the bridesmaids and other attendees should treat the bride when you go out for your dinner or drinks or whatever the main celebration is, but not the hotel or house rental. And certainly not her meals for the entire weekend.

That's nuts!!! Do not pay for anything for bach party if you are not going. I don't understand anyone who plans things & just expects others to have cash flow.

I agree with @MFB the bride needs to cover her own, I was in a wedding and budgeted my funds for the bach party in Boston (which was awesome btw) & before I knew it everyone else was splitting everything for the bride. I ran out of cash and ended up spending the last day in the hotel room while everyone went out. I told my girls under no circumstances does anyone pay for me, I am a big girl & if it's out of my budget I won't do it.

I was asked by a MOH to provide cash to host a shower I wasn't invited to as I was going to a local shower for her. I straight up told her no, I'm sorry I can't do that. I didn't even feel I owed her an explanation.

For the bachlorette, I would tell the bride you can't swing it, but look forward to the pics.

Insane.... wtf.