Bachelorette Party Problems

What about just going to a bar for drinks? I'm just going out to eat with my friends.

I agree with pp, would everyone be able to afford a pay your own way? A bar, club or something to celebrate

I thought about that but my MOH and Bridesmaids already complain that they had to pay for their dresses (they were $75 in order to be budget conscious) and I am paying for everything else regarding the wedding such as shoes, hair, nails, and make-up. They made it known that they have absolutely no money or are not willing to contribute anything else. I suggested doing one of those paint-and-sips and the $20 price tag was too much. I unfortunately don't have any more in my wedding budget to pay for my own night out even just going for a couple of drinks.

Wow, do they not have the money or just not want to spend any on wedding related things? I know parties and things are not required but since you're paying for everything i don't think they should be complaining about paying for a reasonably priced dress. Can u celebrate with other friends or family?

I am 22 but my MOH is 25 and the other bridesmaids are 27 and 29. I think the issue is that they don't want to spend money on the wedding. My MOH is my best friend and the other bridesmaids are my sisters so I know their spending habits. What I am having a hard time with is knowing that they will spend money each week on daily coffee and such but that a night out is pushing it. I don't really have any other friends that are local that I could celebrate with.

I threw out the idea of a night in with a bottle of wine and a movie but that got shut down because they didn't want to come over. I am trying to just let it roll off my back, but I didn't realize how much it bothered me until my fiancé started telling me about what he has planned.

It sucks when "Friends" make you feel like an inconvenience but your second sentence/paragraph states: "just spending time with friends". Wouldn't a girls night in meet that desire?

I think it's messed up on their part, is there another reason they're acting like this? Have they been supportive or involved besides this? If they didn't really have extra money to spend, totally understandable. However, if they can't even go hang at your house for a girls night I'd be pretty upset as well. Is there a possibility they're planning something and not telling you? I would never let a friend go without celebrating, even if we could only afford to do something cheap.

A girls night in would be perfect but they seem inconvenienced by that. I just assumed that it would be easy/ people would want to especially since I remember going out for all of these girls weddings and paying for drinks or dding since I was to young to drink. I just don't know if I should just give up on the idea of having a night with the girls or if there is a solution I'm not thinking of.

I know they aren't planning anything. My mother had to step up and organize the shower because none of them were interested. I talk to them all about their lives regularly and have been trying to avoid talking to them about the wedding because I feel like a bother. It just feels like they are all so busy in their own personal lives that anything else is too much. Gosh sorry I didn't mean for this to turn into a vent session. haha.

I'd be upset too.. sorry they're being such downers.

Have you tried talking to them?

I tried talking-to my MOH and she stated that if she knew it was going to be this much work she would have not agreed to be my MOH or in the wedding. She claims she was kidding but based on her voice and me knowing her it definitely wasn't a kidding moment. As for my bridesmaids they rarely respond to texts or anything. My shower is on the 20th and that will be the first time the 3 of them have been in the same place since getting their dresses.

Yes, what "work" besides buying a dress?

So far nothing. I asked them to come with me to look at dresses when I was first finding my dress, but other than that I asked my MOH to come help me with decorations and she just kept canceling every time we would set something up. Fortunately my mom is wonderful and has been trying to do everything they should but I feel bad for her because she seems extremely overwhelmed.

I haven't asked them to pay for anything besides their dress. I got their shoes and jewelry. I am also paying for alterations on the gowns and for them to get their hair and make up and nails done for the wedding.

How about you go out and celebrate with your mom? I know it's not exactly the same but she seems more like a bridesmaid than your actual ones.

And i agree with Jennifer about having a heart to heart

I think talking to them would be a good idea although last time I tried was when my MOH said had she known all the "work" she would be asked to do she would have declined. I do want to get this figured out before the wedding.

Celebrating with my Mom sounds like a good idea, I will suggest that to her and she what she says.

Good luck! I hope you guys are able to work it out.

One year I had 12 weddings I was invited to and I was in 4 of them. I did as much as I could, budgeted my money and tried to support the bride if I could. These people weren't family, let alone my sisters! If these girls are your "friends", I'd hate to see how your enemies treat you.

Just some extra two cents, all those weddings I was in was when I was 25/26. Bachelorette parties were important then (or so I thought) and it's what was "expected". I'm 36 now and that means nothing compared to marrying my FH and building a life together.

I am sorry your "friends" and sisters are being like this. Don't let it bother you too much! Just think about what is happening at the end of all this planning and heartache! You get to marry the love of your life!

We have a small wedding party. I have 3 girls all with very diff budgets. My MOH is picking up the tab for a lot of the party stuff and yet one of my bridesmaids is the first one to say she feels out of the loop and when I try to give her a job it's has always come back to the cost. We are getting married in June and I would say this has to be the worst part when planning the wedding it took me a long time to pick the girls and I'm already wishing I went with some others instead