Bachelorette Party Problems

This is a tough one. I think it is custom for the bridal party to pay for the bride with respect to the bachelorette party, which is why its really important to know what your budget is. I would chat with the other members in the bridal party and come up with a budget to work with, and then tell the bride this is what we can afford. It sounds like your friend is minimizing the overall cost, and you are right alcohol, food, etc on a weekend away really adds up. I would be honest with her about what you can/cant' afford and hopefully she understands.

Eek. A friend of mine had a very expensive spa weekend bachelorette party. We were told that the bride's cost was being split between all of the attendees, and then we had to pay for our own services, hotel, food, etc. All in all, we were expected to pay about $250-300 a person.

I didn't go because I couldn't afford any of that.

Yes, speak with the bridal party and then get a budget. Present that to the bride - and tell her that this is all everyone can afford. I know that many brides want a blow-out bachelorette party weekend, but if you're throwing it/paying for it, you get to have a say. If she wants to pay for it, then she can have more of a say.

Not knowing you or the bride, therefore not knowing how/where you socialize normally, this is a little tricky. But I think brutal honesty is in order. She may be wrapped up in some sort of fantasy vision and not taking her friend's finances in to consideration. That is pretty obtuse of her but never mind that for right now. I'd try, "Sally, the girls and I have discussed it and what we can afford as a group is XYZ. We have made reservation/plans at the following places/times. We're are really excited for a fun night." If that isn't acceptable to her, she may have to celebrate at her preferred locations alone.

I would talk to the bridal party and see what kinda budget they can afford and then talk to the bride about what places you guys can realistically go to. As for the paying for the bride part, I am having my bach party in Vegas and am paying my own way since I know it's pricey. I helped my MOH plan mine so that I could keep everything as cheap as possible. We're staying in a 2 bedroom suite with a kitchen for $35 each for the weekend. There are 7 of us staying in the room. 2 girls are flying in and the rest of us are carpooling and splitting gas cost. We're taking food and alcohol and have found some great deals since we are a group of girls.

Time for a talk. While this is a nice touch, it isn't a necessity, and considering all the other expenses they will take on for the wedding itself, that sounds like a lot. Figure out as a group what is doable. (Honestly, she shouldn't have much of a say as to what gets done for this; it's your decision...

Frankly? I think it's another 'thing' that gets added to weddings that makes them so expensive.

Edited; not only does it sound expensive (and it will be way more expensive than she thinks...) it also sounds very presumptuous.

Bridal party is throwing the bachelorette party which means that bridal party gets to decide the price. The bride can't demand that you spend out of your budget. If she can't be satisfied with a bachelorette party in your budget, then 1) she's not a nice person and 2) don't spend money on her.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions! I've talked to some of the other girls and they're somewhat on the same page as me....and by somewhat I mean there is 1 girl whos like ehhh we can afford it haha maybe this is just me putting myself first but i have my own wedding to pay for also and we all know weddings aren't cheap! haha...anyways, thanks again for all the advice and I will update when I find out more.

That's a lot to spend on a bach party. I would say that the bride gets to come up with ideas (ie. if she wants a spa day vs a strip club), but that it's totally up to you guys on budget.