Bachelorette Party plus 1

So my MOHs are very nice and telling me that if I want to say no, they will handle it and it is not a problem. Apparently my friend, the guest, told them she is "99%" sure I would be delighted as we get along very well. I am unsure of the reasons behind the request, though I'm sure my friend the guest would like to have one person with her that she knows very well instead of the multiple people she has met in passing. But...its MY bachelorette party. Am I being selfish if I say no? While I don't care that much, it seems...random.

In addition, my friend, the guest, cannot come to the wedding because of a prior obligation. So I brought her to my dress try on and will try to do other special stuff with her. She got married last year and I went to her bachelorette and wedding and participated in everything I was asked to do. Thoughts?

If you don't want her to go i would just tell my friend that since you don't know her very well you would just to prefer your bachelorette party with people your closer with. Don't be afraid to hurt someone's feelings if it's something you don't want for yourself on your day.

Thanks @Kate,

I am not inviting her friend to my wedding. We have already sent out the STDs and my friend knows this and I'm not that close with her friend, who again, is not local, and who I have met and hung out with a few times. So if I say yes to her as a plus one to the bachelorette, she does not get an invite to the wedding.

Is the reasoning possibly that your friend's OOT friend happens to be visiting the weekend of your bachelorette party and your friend is unable to attend the bachelorette party if it means ditching her OOT friend who came all that way just to visit her? She may be trying to please everyone by finding out if she can bring the OOT friend along because then she doesn't have to skip your party and she still gets her time with her visiting friend. That's the only plausible explanation I can think of for this.

Ordinarily I would think it's weird and that if someone gets invited to the bachelorette party, they would need to get a wedding invitation. But technically, this girl would be the plus one of someone invited to the bachelorette party...so I honestly am not sure if that makes it a gray area. I suppose the pro would be that if you allow it (given that my above suspicions are accurate), then you get to celebrate with your friend that isn't able to attend your wedding. A con would be that if you don't allow it, you would miss out on celebrating with this friend since she'd likely decline to hang with her OOT friend. It's very possible that the OOT friend would think nothing of the fact that she was attending a bachelorette party for a bride who's wedding she was not invited to, since she's obviously tagging along on plans while visiting a friend from OOT, but there's also a small chance she would be offended by it.

I'm kind of stumped by this one.

Honestly I'd say it's ok. I'm letting my FSIL bring her best friend to all of the events.

Thanks @sabrinaf and @ErickaM! @BlueHenBride, you got it, its weird, but I'm so close to this person that I'm sure she has a plausible reason, and I do want to be able to celebrate with her. And since I truly like the friend, I will just say yes, with the qualifier that I think its weird, but fine. Thank you guys so much!

I think it might also depend on what kind of bachelorette you're having. If you're doing something close-knit, then it makes lots of sense to say no. If you're just going out and doing different kinds of activities, or perhaps bar hopping, or dancing, or something along those lines and there's room, then why not.

I also agree with BlueHen that it's possible this plus one is in town visiting your guest and your guest can't ditch her visitor. If I had room, I'd say yes, just to keep it simple and make sure my guest doesn't get offended or troubled and can still come. The wedding is different, but I'd let it go for the bachelorette.

If you don't feel comfortable with it, you can say no.

Etiquette wise, I think it's okay.

One of my girl friends has two friends coming into town the weekend of my bachelorette. They'll be flying home (across the country) the morning after my bachelorette. I am not involved in ANY of the planning, literally no clue what is going on but she called me to ask if it would be okay if they came as well. She said they would be respectful that it's my bachelorette and think it will be more fun than random bar hopping. I said it was fine if they come along and the more the merrier. However, I'm not extending an invite to two girls who live across the country and who I will meet mere days before my wedding. They will also know no one at my bachelorette except for my friend bringing them. Neither of them expect an invite and are okay with it, I'm okay with them coming, my MOH is okay with including the extra count in planning. So we're doing it.

Thanks @nsol and @sarahd.

It is a group of 10 very close friends of mine. I think we are doing some activities, some bar hopping, and some hanging out. I am pretty laid back and there will be NO strippers! It is a destination bachelorette in Charleston, so everyone will have to fly there, including my guests friend, so its not convenient for her or anything. But yes, if we have room, everyone can be comfortable, and my mohs are ok with it, i will say yes. Nice to hear other people are saying yes too AND that it is reasonable to still not invite the plus one to my wedding, particularly since her friend, the only person she would know, is not coming.

I have no idea on etiquette here. The only reason I can imagine she'd ask is if she already had plans with this other friend and wouldn't be able to go to the bachelorette party unless she canceled them or brought her friend along.

OP, nah I think you're good. We're doing the same thing, bar hopping and lots of activities. My friend who invited them lives in the town we'll be in so they don't need hotel space because of course, they'll stay with her. I think everyone would find it even more weird if I requested their addresses to send invites to or brought them invites at the bachelorette.

I can understand where you are coming from, but I say it might not be weird. My cousin is bringing her friend so she has someone to drive with, and I have been a guest to a bachelorette party. Always super fun and still about you (the bride)

Good luck!