Bachelorette party money

You shouldn't have taken it upon yourself to book the beach house without knowing who could 100% commit and what they could afford...also shouldn't have planned it yourself.

They don't owe you anything.

You can't make people pay you for a party you planned for yourself

At this point you eat the money. You planned a party for yourself and booked and paid for a house without others committing to pay. They have no reason to pay you because they never said they would.

If you wanted the other 5 women to share the cost of the house, you needed to touch base with them about their budget before you booked the house. Then if it was within their budget, you needed to be clear upfront that each person owed $100 for the cottage. Did you do that?

I booked the house because I didn't feel like anyone else should have to fork out that much money. After I booked it, my FSIL's took over the planning. I made it very clear that I was asking for $100 to help cover the expenses. I wasn't trying to get them to pay for my portion, just their own. I also wasn't adjusting it if half the people couldn't come, I would have just ate that portion. But 8 of the 10 came, so I don't think it's unreasonable to expect them to pay for their portion.

You don't get to spend other people's money without their permission, and that's basically what you're trying to do here by booking a place yourself (one that "wasn't cheap") and expecting people to pay you back.

If you had specific ideas in mind for your bachelorette, you should have discussed them with your bridesmaids and let them handle it (ALL of it). And if you were willing to contribute financially so that they were able to do what you wanted, you should have given THEM whatever amount you felt necessary and let them make the arrangements. At this point, no, you can't ask people to give you money for your bachelorette party that already happened.

No. You are wrong. It was very stupid and unreasonable to book a $1000 beach house without any input from the others involved. Duh

Have your FSIL send out an email asking the girls to Venmo her. That's not something that should come from you

I think you are just out that money. Did they all agree to the $100 beforehand or did you just decide for them what they could afford?

We don't really have a bridal party, just one person for each of us. And my maid of honor is extremely shy so I wasn't going to have her be uncomfortable trying to plan it, I was just trying to organize what I was wanting. If no one was able to come, I could have cancelled the reservation but almost everyone RSVP'd and attended knowing the cost.

You don't get to ask people for money for a party you planned yourself in your own honour.

Bridal party or no bridal party - what it comes down to is that /you/ spent /your/ money on something /you/ wanted to do /before/ you consulted the people you wanted to invite. So no matter how much you told them you wanted them to contribute, you did this the wrong way and now you'll need to eat the cost. It sucks but this is why you are not supposed to plan your own parties.

I'll be honest with you ... if a bride invited me to a bachelorette party and said "BTW, I booked a house that's going to be $100 per person," I probably wouldn't go. I'd be annoyed that they were counting and spending my money without my input.

Bachelorette parties are usually crowdfunded because they're crowdPLANNED. When you take away everyone's ability to have a say in location and cost and yet still expect them to contribute money toward the location and cost, you take away their motivation to have any part in it.

Now, if your friends knew about the money and verbally agreed to pay it and are trying to weasel out of it now, well, at least you know who your friends are. But if you just assumed that people would get the hint that they were supposed to give you $100 if they attended, then that's mistake #2.

Mrswrs I wasn't expecting to not have to buy the food and drinks until my FSIL let me know they were taking care of it. I was going to give them part of the money for taking care of that part.

Chelsea, stop trying to justify your rude behavior with post after post. Not a single member agrees with what you did, because what you did was wrong. You had your party at the location you chose. You circumvented normal etiquette, but the tab still has to be paid. No money is coming your way, and you shouldn't ask for it.

There's no excuse for what you did. You had no right to host a FB event because you wanted a BP. Forget your faux pas, never mention it again, and hope everyone else follows suit.

Girl. I noticed I lot of "I" in this post which means YOU planned and threw this party. You completely made a financial decision and THEN communicated to your peeps to reimburse you. What if they had plans to do something else for you before you just took it upon yourself to book this? You don't know what people's budget was and you forced them in a corner.

Tough shit OP. Eat the cost and move on.

ETA: words

In my opinion, had those invited planned this on their own and agreed amongst themselves that all would need to chip in $100 (outside of the guest of honor, though if said guest of honor insisted, that is their decision), that would be fine.

However, you hosted the event. As the host, you are tasked with making sure everyone is accommodated accordingly at your event. When you invited the others, they became your guests; and it is a faux pas to ask them for money to contribute toward something *you* are hosting.

You mention your FSILs took over the planning and made sure everyone was catered to as needed. Bravo for them! Sounds like they came in to save the day, so no one else needed to put their money in.

Do not expect the money from the others. It seems kind of silly at this point. You booked the rental, but your FSILs did a lot of work for your event.

I'd take this as a hard-lesson learned for future events you may host; invited guests should not be asked to open their wallets.

Also, had you lurked you would know the type of response you would get on WW for this topic. Never okay to plan your own soirée and then ask for contributions to help your pockets.

You were going to take their money then "give it back" to them, as in, pass it back out for drinks and food? That's definitely a lie.