Bachelorette party issues/rant

Every conversation ends with her waking away or her leaving. After having another conversation a couple of weeks ago, I thought that things were fine until yesterday. Yesterday, she texted me and R and blew up on us about the price of the hotel for my bachelorette party. Back in December R booked this hotel after her and B agreed on the hotel and agreed to split the cost 50/50. Then she went on to say that she felt left out and that she would not have fun on the trip if she went. She eventually said that she was absolutely not going on the trip. Me and R have done nothing to her to make her feel left out and in fact the 3 of us have hung out multiple times. I wouldn't consider myself to be a bridezilla as myself and my FH have done all the planning ourselves and I have had a great, stress free time planning the wedding with the chapel we chose to get married at. I'm very confused and upset and now B refuses to talk to me. Everyone around me keeps saying that it is for the best as they feel as if she has not been a good friend to me lately, but we have been best friends for years and I don't understand what has caused this. I'm just very frustrated and I have no idea where to go from here with her. Would you guys move on or continue to try and fix things?

I don't even know what to say. I guess, if I had a "friend" like that, I probably would have stopped being friends with them a long time ago. This all sounds quite childish, dramatic and immature.

If she's going to act unreasonable, I really can't think of any way to reason with her.

Honestly, it kind of sounds like she's jealous. You said she didn't start acting this way until you started planning right? And she says things like that she can't believe you're getting married? How I see it is if she's not treating you well, you don't need her in your life. And it totally sucks, but I've had to do that with close friends in the past as well. If you keep trying to talk to her about it and she just gets mad, it seems like she doesn't want to fix it, so maybe it would be best not to stress yourself out over it. It's a crappy situation because she was a really close friend, but good friends don't treat each other like that.

I would maybe send one last message about being sorry about how things are, and then end it with saying that you're going to give her some space and wishing the best for her. Maybe there's something going on in her life that's making your wedding complicated for her, maybe she's just grown out of your friendship. Either way, I think you need to say good bye, at least until she's ready to say hello again.

I was going to say jealous too. Everything was fine until you started planning your wedding so it sounds like it's jealousy. Or maybe she's afraid of losing you as a friend after you get married?

I would move on. I don't believe that you are a bridezilla. You don't need someone acting like that at such an important time of your life.

Yes, none of this started until after my FH and I started planning the wedding. A couple of my friends have mentioned jealousy to me and that does sound reasonable. I also am wondering if should still send her an invite for the wedding. I am planning on sending them out at the end of the this month.

Well, if you don't invite her to the wedding... I would say that would be a friendship ending move. Especially if she's so dramatic. So just decide if you are ok with that

Yeah, like Kristy said, if you want there to be any chance that you two stay friends, you have to invite her. If you think it could just be stress about something silly that she's not talking about, or just jealousy that she'll get over, or really anything not permanent I would send her an invite. You can cut her out from planning for the rest of the wedding, but still invite her if you want any hope of regaining the friendship.

I'm the last person to jump on the jealousy wagon (because I really don't see getting married the way I see winning the lottery). However, there is something here that really smacks of jealousy. Just throwing this out (because I know for a fact that this type of thing has happened before)...is there any chance, any chance at all, that this former friend has "feelings" for you that she's kept to herself? If that's the case, your impending wedding is probably not her favorite topic.

Whatever the case may be, unless you a marrying an unemployed, abusive, alcoholic brute, a friend has no right to tell an engaged woman that she needs to re-evaluate her life. It crosses a boundary that should only be crossed if the woman is about to make the biggest mistake of her life -- and if that's the case, there will be evidence.

Maybe she had the money in December but not anymore, and that she's embarrassed and handling it poorly.

She doesn't seem like much of a friend. Is there something else going on in her life where she is lashing out in wrong place?

I'm not one to give up on friendships very easily; however, everyone has a breaking point. This is a happy time in your life and as your best friend, she should be happy for you and want to support you. It doesn't really matter what her opinion is of anything you're doing because it's her job as a friend to just be there for you.

That being said, think about how you would feel if she was not a part of your big day. If you don't think you'd miss her or be upset without her being there, I'd say don't invite her, but expect that to be the end of your friendship. If you think it would really upset you to not have her at your wedding, try one more time talking to her in person or via phone and explain how you're feeling. Hearing the emotion behind someone's voice is always better IMO.

There is definitely something going on that she doesn't want to tell you. It seems like you have taken the high road and tried to have a civil conversation with her. I would just let her decide whether or not she wants to come/plan this bachelorette party. Maybe she no longer has the funds and is embarrassed to bring it up to you or R? I would try to talk to her from a non wedding perspective, meaning, don't bring up her attitude towards the wedding/bachelorette party/etc, but maybe just invite her to coffee or something and tell her that you think something is up with her and that you care about her as a friend and you value your friendship. This might help her open up a little.

I think that she was probably finally being honest when he told you that she feels left out. while you may feel that you havent done anything you cant deny how she feels. and while her behavior was your original cause of your questioning her, it is probably made worse by the fact that you and R do seem to have agreed/bonded over current disapproval of B. i would ask her why she feels left out and then try to build from there. this is a friend for a long time, so i wouldn't be quick to throw that away. if you both are hurt then accept each other's hurt and move on. whatever you do though, remember that you cant tell her how she should feel

@thecenterpieceflowers I have actually heard that brought up by someone previously as a possibility. Nothing has happened that would lead me to think that, I suppose anything is an option at this point lol. My fiancé is wonderful and I'm quite spoiled by him lol B has voiced previously that she thinks he is the perfect match for me.

I would be ok if she didn't have the funds, but she often brags about how much she makes working on night shift and we are both nurses so I know about how much she makes. This is not to say that she doesn't have money troubles, but she often brings up in conversation about raises she is getting or how she just got a bonus and that she makes more than she ever though possible. When she says thinks like that it makes it hard for me to believe that they money is the problem. She only owes R 224 dollars and she has known since December.

When they started planning the bachelorette, did she assume that she was in the bridal party and later found out you weren't having one?

No, we have chosen to not have BMs or GMs from the start. She may have assumed that she may be a GM or MOH, but I have always said from the get go that we didn't want them because of our small wedding.

@sarahp when I asked her what was making her feel left out she said that she feels that way because me and R are friends and me and B are friends, but that she isn't friends with R. We have all hung out numerous times and had a blast. I told her that if I made her feel left out that that definitely was not my intention. I thought it was squashed after that, but she brought it up again yesterday. I tried talking to her one on one without R and she won't respond to my texts or calls.