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Expert October 2018

Bachelorette Party for Nondrinkers?

Emily, on September 21, 2016 at 1:40 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20
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Ok so I still have a ways to go before a Bachelorette party. But my family gest really excited and will bring things up and that's pretty helpful, considering I've never had or helped plan a wedding. So much I hadn't thought of!!! But my mom brought up the Bachelorette Party yesterday and I got really anxious. I'm a recovering alcoholic and have been sober for over 1 year. My friends and family are all really supportive. But isn't the main thing about a Bachelorette party one last wild ride for the bride? I don't drink PERIOD but all of my bridesmaids and girlfriends do. I want to have a fun (alcohol free) time, but I don't want the people coming to be bored. And I don't want to be worrying about being the designated driver/stuck at a bar bored out of my mind night. Anyone out there have any alternatives? Open to suggestions!

20 Comments

  • SailawaySomppi
    VIP April 2018
    SailawaySomppi ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, if I were you I would avoid the whole "party" thing because people are going to assume alcohol. Maybe just a girls night out with dinner and one of those Painting with a Twist places, a sporting event, a concert in your area, a theme park, laser tag, roller or ice skating? Something active and fun that you don't have to necessarily be involved with wanting to drink to make it fun.

    • Reply
  • Taryn
    VIP June 2017
    Taryn ·
    • Flag

    Congrats on your first year of sobriety! A spa day sounds fun. I'm going on a bachelorette weekend with a friend who is in sobriety. We are going to the poconos and have plans to go hiking, horseback riding and get massages. I'm pretty excited about it.

    ETA: clarity: it's not my bachelorette party, it's hers. Me and one other girl are the only ones not in recovery so there will be no booze.

    • Reply
  • Kathleen
    Dedicated October 2016
    Kathleen ·
    • Flag

    You can have a lingerie party! Have all your girls get dressed up sexy and have a night in! Play games and share laughs. Just an idea!!

    • Reply
  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
    • Flag

    Spa day, art party, dinner, movie night with friends.

    We did a booze free bachlorette for a gf who was pregnant. Spa day and then movie night. It was fun, lots of good food.

    • Reply
  • MrsMcPherson
    Super August 2016
    MrsMcPherson ·
    • Flag

    Oh - the bachelorette party is NOT about drinking. We almost didn't have alcohol at mine, and I would've been happy without as well. We stayed at my grandparents lake house rental and just laid out, swam, etc for a weekend. You can do whatever you'd like - with it without alcohol.

    Congratulations on your wedding and sobriety as well! If I were you, I'd do a a spa day, laser tag, a custom wine and design without the wine - something like that. So many options. You've got this. <3

    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP February 2017
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    I think the spa day that the pp's suggested is a great idea!

    That would be a good bonding day with you and your girls that is stress free.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Champion June 2010
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    I think a spa day sounds fantastic!

    • Reply
  • Swin.
    Master June 2016
    Swin. ·
    • Flag

    We just went out for dinner and got our nails done! It was super fun!

    • Reply
  • AAK
    VIP September 2017
    AAK ·
    • Flag

    Congrats on your sobriety! That's amazing and I'm proud and happy for you!

    Bachelorette party is NOT just about drinking. You can suggest an activity to whoever is planning it that would not "require" alcohol. Maybe a spa day and if the girls want a glass of wine or something it's pretty low key that it won't be like all your nearest and dearest slamming shots around you. Or even a theme park if that's up your alley? I would love if my friends took me to Valley Fair for the day (it's a theme park near me) and we could ride rides and eat greasy food and get fun photos in a photo booth.

    • Reply
  • V
    Just Said Yes March 2017
    Vinesha ·
    • Flag

    Slumber party... With movie, games, and good food

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Expert May 2017
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    I dont drink so my moh suggesting spa day at Lake Tahoe! We also thought about Disney (bc i love it) but i think we leaning towards spa day somewhere not very far!

    • Reply
  • SoonToBeDames
    Expert November 2016
    SoonToBeDames ·
    • Flag

    I don't drink. We went to a comedy club and ordered a bunch of food, then we went for dessert after. People had a cocktail or two if they want (I did not, a pregnant friend was there, and a friend who is a recovering alcoholic), but it was very tame and everyone still had a great time! Or so they tell me...

    There are plenty of options out there. Just be creative. Think of what you like to do and highlight it. The people that came said my bachelorette party was very me because my two MOHs picked two things I love - laughing and sugar.

    • Reply
  • Lilly
    Dedicated March 2017
    Lilly ·
    • Flag

    We are doing dinner, laser tag and an arcade for mine! My sister cannot contain her excitement to finally get to plan a bachelorette party so she has already told me everything she is planning lol

    • Reply
  • Chip
    Master March 2018
    Chip ·
    • Flag

    I'm wanting to do one of those painting classes!

    Though a spa day sounds lovely!

    • Reply
  • Rachel DellaPorte
    May 2020
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    Most importantly -- and I do mean, most importantly -- mega congratulations on your sobriety. With a year of sobriety, you realize that you're still very early in the process of living a sober life. You're smart enough to know that you need to be very careful. In time, maybe in years, you will be able to be around alcohol without it threatening your sobriety, but for now, you're being pro-active, and that's good. The pressure to drink (because of celebration factor inherent in weddings) could be challenging for you. You need support.

    Sure, BPs are generally considered the last big, wild ride before settling down, but the truth is, if you're about to be married, your last big wild ride was quite a while ago. Sure, lots of women have liquor laden BPs, but you can have those kinds of nights with or without an impending wedding -- actually, plenty of women call this type of thing "ladies night" (without the penis accessories and hotel keys, of course).

    So, your BP will be a little different. Yours will be event driven instead of wild party driven. You've been given some fabulous ideas -- a show, a comedy club, a concert, a painting party, a spa day...all great ideas.

    Best of luck, and happy wedding!

    • Reply
  • E
    Expert October 2018
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    Thank you for all the ideas!! Really calmed me down

    • Reply
  • Patty643
    Dedicated September 2017
    Patty643 ·
    • Flag

    I too am a recovering alcoholic with supportive friends. When this came up they proposed we do something fun together like zip lining... a nonalcoholic bonding experience! I thought that was a wonderful idea!

    • Reply
  • MrsOtoBe
    VIP October 2017
    MrsOtoBe ·
    • Flag

    Don't think of it as one last "wild night" think of it as special time to enjoy with the ladies that are closest to you in life! I'm with other posters, you can do a paint place, spa day, movie night, game night, whatever you normally enjoy doing, go with that!

    • Reply
  • Rachel DellaPorte
    May 2020
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    Zip-lining! I LOVE that idea. Talk about a new thing that is best experienced when sober (because you wouldn't want to miss a thing!). I really want to try it -- I realized that when we did a wedding at the top of a mountain at a ski resort. For 15 minutes, we rode a ski lift that went higher and higher until we finally arrived at the arbor we had to decorate. While my partner was literally hyperventilating, I loved every freaking moment of flying above the earth. Yep, I'd be into zip-lining!

    I'm a social drinker, and I equate parties/weddings with liquor. However, and I mean this with all sincerity, if you were one of my closest friends (and even if you weren't), there is no way I'd drink at your BP. You, your health, your happiness, and your life would mean so much more to me than anything that came from a bottle.

    • Reply
  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·
    • Flag

    Hey, Emily, FWIW, I don't drink either, so my friends and I went to a comedy club. They could drink, if they wanted, but I could also laugh my ass off sober-- it worked for me.

    • Reply

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