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Beginner October 2018

Bachelorette party! drama...

Jessica, on June 19, 2018 at 2:22 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

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So my BP is throwing my a Bachelorette Party! I want my mother there because we have an amazing relationship and I am not afraid to go a little crazy in front of her. However my future mother in law wants to go and i just do not feel comfortable with her going. We have an amazing relationship, but I just want to let loose and feel like I can't do that with her there. Advice on how to let her down gently...

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on June 19, 2018 at 5:24 PM

Super July 2018
Mags · on June 19, 2018 at 2:25 PM
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Hmmm not 100% sure, I'm going to go with both moms included or none.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 19, 2018 at 2:28 PM
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Mags brings up a good point. I know you love chilling with your mom but inviting her and not your FMIL may hurt your FMIL's feelings and your relationship with her. I think it may be a good idea to ask your mom to sit this one out, or invite both moms.
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Master September 2019
Mrs. H · on June 19, 2018 at 2:29 PM
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I agree with Mags. My mom pretty much invited herself, so I'm stuck worrying about the same thing as you with your FMIL.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on June 19, 2018 at 2:47 PM
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Who is hosting the bachelorette? Do they really want even your Mom there?
I think you are going to have hurt feelings if you persist in the idea that it's ok to have your Mom attend, but not your FMIL.
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Beginner October 2018
Jessica · on June 19, 2018 at 2:54 PM
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Yes I do agree it's either both or niether! Just having a hard time with the idea! Thank you all for you input.
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VIP July 2018
Jen · on June 19, 2018 at 2:59 PM
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You can't let her down gently if your Mom is attending. Either both should go or none.
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Master April 2017
Anne · on June 19, 2018 at 3:00 PM
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I agree that it should be both or neither. That could have a permanent negative effect on your relationship with your FMIL if she is excluded but your mom is invited.
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Dedicated November 2014
Mandy · on June 19, 2018 at 3:13 PM
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I disagree with the others. A bacehlorette party is usually a small group of the people closest to the bride. People don't "deserve" invites, and a mother and a MIL are very different relationships. The same way it would be fine if you're inviting your sister, but not your FSIL. Or your best female friends and not your husband's best female friends. If you were having a random girls-night-out, you might invite your mom but not your MIL.

It would be a different situation if it was a big group, but assuming it's a small group of your closest friends it's fine!
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on June 19, 2018 at 3:14 PM
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I would include both or neither unfortunately, if you're worried about hurting feelings. In the beginning of planning, I thought about inviting moms (mine is the same way). But after thinking about it, my fiance's mom HATES drinking and really isn't into girl time so she wouldn't have fun anyway (but would probably attend for whatever reason). So we are inviting just bridesmaids, and moms are coming to the bridal shower.
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Dedicated November 2018
Amanda · on June 19, 2018 at 4:17 PM
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I agree with you 100%.
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Dedicated July 2018
KB · on June 19, 2018 at 4:47 PM
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Could you do a dinner (or lunch) including the moms before the girls go out and then bid farewell to the moms after that to continue with just the girls?
This way you would have the best of both worlds. They are included but you don't have to worry about FMIL all night.
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