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Just Said Yes February 2020

Bachelorette Party Dilemma

Dana, on July 8, 2019 at 7:50 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 6

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So my maid of honor and I have been friends since we were 14 (we're 31 now). In this time she has gotten married and had two kids, 2 and 4. I am getting married in February and I was thinking about my bachelorette party. It's not the kids or even being married. It's her husband and both of them being religious. He does not like me because he thinks I'm a bad influence because I don't go to church and I like to have fun, like dancing. For example, he gave her a curfew when we had our 10 year reunion and I hadn't seen her in 1.5 years (we live in separate states now). They have their own issues, but whatever, none of my business. So, I want to have fun, maybe go to a club, have some drinks, do some dares, etc. Should I let my other bridesmaids know that my MOH won't be involved and for them to plan it?

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Latest activity by Jennifer, on July 8, 2019 at 1:28 PM

Expert August 2020
Arielle · on July 8, 2019 at 8:07 AM
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Has your MOH said she won't be able to plan it or be there? I understand there are some issues, but I think you may be creating more if you don't talk to her about them first. I didn't see you mention it so I just wanted to ask. If she said she can't be a part of it then by all means let your other bridesmaids know the deal.
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Dana · on July 8, 2019 at 8:09 AM
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When I asked her to be my MOH, she said well, you know I can't get crazy with the bachelorette party.
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Expert August 2020
Arielle · on July 8, 2019 at 8:11 AM
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I'd still have the conversation with her and let her know what you're looking for in your bachelorette party. I'd also let her know if she can't be there for that, that it's okay. This is just the direction you want to go in and respect her decision not to be a part of it.
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Master September 2019
Mrs. H · on July 8, 2019 at 8:24 AM
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I wouldn't exclude your MOH from your bachelorette party unless she explicitly states that she doesn't want to be a part of it. I understand you have an idea of how you'd like the night to go, and it may differ from what she is able/wanting to do, but whether or not she wants to partake should ultimately be her call - otherwise, you risk hurting her feelings and creating drama
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 8, 2019 at 9:59 AM
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I think you should have a brunch in the am with everyone, then the MOH can decide if she wants to go home or not for the partying part.
It's also super creepy to have her husband give a curfew! You're a good friend trying to make it easier on her.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on July 8, 2019 at 1:28 PM
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I agree with the others, do something more "family friendly" during the day (sporting event, painting pots, brunch/lunch, etc.) and leave the partying for nighttime, that way if any other BM or guests isn't into it, they can decide when to bow out for the day! Have fun!!
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