Bachelorette Party Alternatives?

It's really rude to host your own party in your honor. I would let one of them offer or just call it a girl's night.

It's totally fine to host a "girls day/night" but not call it a bachelorette.

It's perfectly fine NOT to have a bachelorette party. A lot of people don't have them thrown for them. I didn't have one, and I didn't mind. Sometimes - like with distance between everyone - it just doesn't work out to have one.

I wouldn't recommend going out and partying/drinking the night before your wedding. If your friends are coming into town the night or two before and if YOU want to host something, YOU should pay for it all. For example, "Hey girls! I wanted to have one last girls night with you before the big day. If you're around, I'd love to take you all to a massage/spa/etc." But if you do that, it's not something they should pay for or chip in, since you want to do it. But you shouldn't throw a party in your honor, and especially not expect others to be the ones to pay for it (if you were thinking that).

I would have a girls day/girls night, don't call it a bachelorette party, it's pretty rude to throw a party in your honor.

I would just do a "girls day out" and if they want to add more to the plans they can but i wouldn't plan a party in my honor IMO

Thanks ladies! I had a feeling calling it a bachelorette would be a bad idea. I'm glad I asked here before sticking my foot in my mouth!

Also, definitely not trying to plan something and make others pay. I paid for all the BM dresses because my MOH found BEAUTIFUL dresses but they were $250 a piece and I didn't feel right asking others to drop that much on top of travel.

I'll see if I can save up to treat them when they come out!

I am in the minority, I dont think it is RUDE.

People say, 'dont ask/expect people to host it for you...its rude'

Or 'dont do it yourself...it rude'

Well, what if you want one? Twiddle your thumbs.

If you want something, go out and do it. Don't wait for someone or miss out on something you want.

This forum uses the term Rude for everything..

I'd plan a girls activity when they are all there for the wedding and have it be optional so you are not obligated to pay. As in "hey ladies planning to get our nails done/eat a brunch at X/see a movie (whatever you want to do) at X time. Would love for all of us to spend some girl time together!" Just make sure you don't over crowd yourself with to much stuff around the wedding.

You have a good attitude, Nicolette, I'm glad you asked this here first too That was also very kind of you to pay for your girls dresses, I'm sure they really appreciated that!

ETA: I see you're from Pottstown, PA! That's not too far from my hometown (Allentown, PA) :-)

I think it's fine to plan a little get together with them but I wouldn't call it your bachelorette party. It was kind of awkward for me because people kept asking me what we were doing for my bachelorette. I never knew what to say. My sister kind of tried planning something but it didn't work out. Finally 2 days before, I just asked them to go out for dinner with me so that's what we did. I didn't call it my bachelorette party and there were no gifts or sashes and i paid for my own meal, so I think I'm good lol. I just wanted to go out and do something that weekend while my FH was at the lake for his bachelor thing.

I would host a brunch if I were you and the timing was feasible!

We are having a combined bachelor/bachelorette party the night before the wedding. My sister is hosting it at her house/yard with the help of my MOH. The date was my request and FH suggestion, as I only have 2 friends that live locally. There will be lawn games and maybe some beer pong, other silly games(the one where you pop a balloon on someone's butt by 'humping' them). https://youtu.be/X9oR-yp5wyM

In the spirit of the night games will be men vs. women. Should be a heck of a good time.

Wedding is not until 6:30 the next evening so I know we will all be fine by then with any hangovers. Plus it's not going to be an all night party. 8pm-Midnight.

I'm kind of in the same boat. My plan is to have a girls day before the wedding. Get nails done, do a wine and design, and maybe go to a couple bars.

What about doing a Paint and Sip party at a local studio? Those are a lot of fun, relatively low cost and everyone gets a keepsake!

I would try to save for a mani/pedi day and brunch or something like that. That way you're getting their nails done for the wedding and can still have that extra time together.

I don't think it's tacky if you plan it as a general get-together. Ex. FSIL went out for a few drinks and then went to top golf with the girls the night beforehand. It's not tacky to want to spend time with your friends. Just send them all a text asking if they would all like to join you for whatever the night beforehand because you want to spend time with them. Be casual.

Melissa - I'm old at heart... I'd be tired at 8:00pm and wouldn't be able to make it through midnight! Lol. What time do things start on your wedding day? Do you guys have to get up early to get ready, hair, make up, etc.? If so, midnight could be late for the night before festivities, even if the wedding ceremony starts at 6:30pm.

Why do people get stuck on semantics here? So you all go out together. That's not "hosting a party in your honor." That's having a get together and asking when they can all get together. So she wants to call it her bachelorette? So what? Why do you care?

So my wedding is on a Sunday and most of my bridesmaids including my MOH live out of town. So they planned my bachelorette party the Thursday and Friday night before my wedding. That way everyone can be there. While I agree that it is wrong to host your own bachelorette party I think it is a cute idea to do a girls night with them. Like you said it will allow you all to bond. It is just the fine line between this party is for me and this get together is for us.

Thank you all for your input! Honestly, it makes me feel better to hear other people in a similar boat to me. My cousin and a friend of my FH are getting married within a few months of us and they're all having their bachelorette shenanigans right now and I was feeling like the only weirdo skipping out. I know that's not the case, but still it's nice to hear it from other people too!

There's a paint and sip type place right by my work actually. My only concern is that their paintings may be difficult to pack and get home in one piece. What do you guys think? Would that be cute or too much hassle?