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Shannon
Super July 2022

Bachelorette impositions

Shannon, on May 13, 2022 at 10:41 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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Hi all. I’m having my bachelorette next month on a Saturday evening. We are going to dinner and then to see a band and have cocktails. Everyone is meeting at my house and departing from there. Most of the attendees live an hour to 2 hours away. I offered for everyone to stay the night at my house to make it easier and so that no one would have to get hotel rooms. Hotels are 2 night minimums in my area.
So everyone is sleeping over Sat night. Cool.

One girl is now asking if she can stay Friday - Sunday. Another girl is asking if she can come Sat- Monday. I really don’t want to make this a weekend hosting chore for myself. This is only suppose to be a celebration Saturday night and bagel breakfast Sunday morning at my house and then everyone goes on their merry way. So I told them both no. Now, I feel like they may think I’m a bridezilla. What would you have done?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Shannon, on May 13, 2022 at 6:49 PM
  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    You set boundaries which is important. If you were not going to be comfortable with them staying that long then you did the right thing saying no. 2 hours drive is a comfortable day trip, in my opinion. You know your friends best but hopefully they are the type that will understand why you said no.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I totally know what you mean.

    amongst my group of friends i have a house and so when we have gatherings... it's always at my house. and it's really tedious sometimes cleaning up after and preparing beforehand.

    i agree with grace that setting boundaries is important. and i do also hope they will be understanding of it.

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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    I think you're fine. 1-2 hours in the car is a manageable trip, and it was already gracious of you to host your friends so they wouldn't have to pay for a hotel. It's your house, and you're the one who set the timeframe of when they could stay, so you're the one who gets to decide whether that timeframe gets extended. Hopefully your friends get that and won't make a big deal out of it.

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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    If you don’t have boundaries, people will walk over you. That is not being a bridezilla. Recommend that if they want to stay additional days, they can go to Motel 6 which is a 1 night minimum, but anything they pick is on their dime.
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  • A
    Expert September 2022
    Allie ·
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    You are totally fine! I don't quite understand why they would stay longer - I guess to make an entire weekend visit out of it? But you have your own life and your own stuff to do (and a wedding coming up), so it's totally normal and fine to politely decline!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    It's ok to have boundaries. It's also OK to say no. I feel like that's reasonable.

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Saying no is 100% reasonable. Tbh, them asking something like that is the unreasonable thing.
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  • Shannon
    Super July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    Thanks everyone. I think it’s because we live on the water by the beach and they want to make a weekend out of it. I’m not the type of person who would ever ask to stay longer than the invite was for. 🤷‍♀️
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