Bachelor/bachelorette party problem

Go elsewhere. And let BP host, don't plan a party for yourselves.

Get them fake IDs?

If I was underage and no one else was, I'd feel awful if my friends/family didn't have the party they wanted because of me.

You should stop trying to plan your bachelor and bachelorette parties.

What you should do is stop assuming that anyone is planning a party in your combined honors.. Your attendants will decide if they can finance a party, and if they can't, you may have to be appropriately pleased with something featuring beer, wine, and pizza in someone's back yard.

I kinda like the idea for safety and comfort of our home for a bachelor/bachlorette party... I agree. I am having a bm do the planning though. All I can do is offer suggestions and ask when to get a sitter!

Could you do a party with the over 21 people, and do something more local and low key with the underage BP members? When I was underage in my siblings weddings, we went to a winery where I hung out and ate but just didn't drink. Then my sister in law also had another night out with her college friends.

Also I just went to a joint bachelorette party where we went to Deep Creek Lake and rented a house. Idk if you could do something similar in Poconos or something.

My brother is 19 and in my FH's grooms party. They're going to New Orleans for Mardi Gras for the Bach party and I sat down with my brother and had a realistic convo with him. I basically told him that FH would love to have him there but the risks are to high. He agreed and said he wouldn't want to ruin FH's Bach party bc he couldn't get into the bars they wanted to go to and didn't want to risk ruining his time if he got caught using a fake ID. He also said he's a broke college kid and probably wouldn't be able to afford it anyways lol

My 13 year old niece is one of my bridesmaids. I'm doing something with just her the morning before the wedding. (Bagels at our favorite breakfast place and then Mani/pedi) She's not coming to my bachelorette party because she wouldn't be able to anyway ( she has a game practically every weekend) and we're going on winery tours. Can you plan something separately with just them?

It all works out in the end, underage may need to sit this one out unfortunately though

Please don't listen to Laura.

Don't listen to Laura (2)

My brother's wedding took place 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. For his/SIL's combined bach, his band played a local bar, and the bridal party plus families went to hear them.

Except me.

Because I wasn't allowed inside the bar. They checked with management, explaining that I'd be there with our parents, just to listen not to drink, and that I was 14 days away from 21. Didn't matter.

Then they asked if there were age restrictions on "road crew" for the band, people hauling equipment and getting levels set etc. Usually there's not. But because they'd asked about our situation before, the manager said no because he was trying to "sneak" me in.

So we're in another state for my brothers wedding, and every person I know is out at this bar watching my brothers band play without me. I ended up going to see a movie by myself, and while I enjoyed the movie I wish I wouldn't have had to be put in that situation.

TL;DR- find something everyone can participate in.