Bachelor party

If your brothers are in the wedding, I personally think this is rude. Why did your FH choose your brothers if they aren’t even close? I don’t know how your brothers are, but I’d personally prepare for drama.

Yes I think it is rude to exclude wedding party members from wedding party events. If he doesn’t want them AT his party, they shouldn’t be IN his party.

I agree with PP's, honestly I would think that your FH would want to invite them so that they can build a relationship.

View Quoted Comment Hi, he didn’t choose them I told him they had to be apart of the bridal party

View Quoted Comment I think I should have clarified that I told him they had to be in the bridal party....

View Quoted Comment Do your brothers know this? I suppose if you forced FH into this, then you need to be prepared for whatever backlash comes from them not being invited to the bachelor party.

View Quoted Comment No, they never asked who chose them to be apart of the day. I️m Italian and we involve all of our sibling and close cousins in the bridal party and obviously I️t would be weird for my brothers to be sitting home all day as guests but this is for the day of I never really put thought into the bachelor party

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So you forced your FH to have your brothers as his GM which therein forces him to have them on the bachelor trip to save face. Nice.

I dunno how you'd not include them without a) being rude and b) telling them that your FH didn't want them in the BP in the first place. This is why people should choose their own BPs and not let their FS add people to their side.

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Exactly this.

Sometimes I do not even know why I write in these forums there is no reason to be so harsh or come across as nasty to people.

View Quoted Comment Just because no one is agreeing with you, doesn’t qualify them as nasty or mean. You made a decision without considering all the consequences. Welcome to the consequences. Your brothers are going to be left out and likely angry, and rightfully so.

Regardless of how they ended up in the bridal party, they're in it. So, to answer your original question, I believe it would be rude to not include them. I would feel the same as your fiance as this is his trip and he wants to be able to go into it and enjoy it to the fullest extent without any worries. Based on the backstory, if he invites your brothers it doesn't sound like he will be able to relax and enjoy himself. So you can't fault him for this.

If he is firm on not inviting them, this should ultimately come from you and you should sit down with them to explain that he is just going with his family. Just be prepared that if this happens your brothers may opt to take them selves out of the bridal party.

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Unfortunately, you should have had them on your side. i have seen this so many times and honestly I think its so unique! Bridal parties really should be the people you are closest to. I really disagree with people having a say in other peoples bridal parties but this is just my personal opinion.

Unfortunately, at this point it will come across rude for him to not invite them. The ONLy way i can really see getting out of this would be for him to go away with his family and not list it as a bachelor party but just rather old friends and family getting together and then 1.) opt to have something more local he can include your brothers in along with other people (maybe a low key bar night or poker night) where he only has to deal with them for a few hours OR to say hes not doing a bachelor party at all and keeping the Dominican trip on the DL and if asked its a family trip... honestly thats the only way around this.

I do not mean to come off hurtful but I do think it was wrong for you to tell him he had to include your brothers. I have 4 sisters and a brother and I didn't want my FH having my brother in on his side just because its my family.

Are you close with your brothers? If so, why not offer a different option to them... tell them that you wanted them to be in the wedding and while they're standing on the Groom's side they're actually there by/for you, so you want them at your bachelorette party. That no only still includes them in the fun of a party but allows you to talk with them about that you wanted them in the wedding.

If you don't feel like this would be an option, then perhaps you can tell them the truth about you wanting them in the wedding but that your FH wants his bachelor party to be his family/closest friends and that at this point in his life that doesn't include them. If they're really doing this to show support for you, then while they might not like it they should understand.

I hope you're able to find a solution that works for all of you. Best of luck!

View Quoted Comment Hi, I am not a child I do not think just because someone disagrees with me they are nasty or mean. The way people respond in how they write and the fact that some people seem to only respond with negativity on posts that you have seen them on that is what I am referring to. But thank you

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your opinion, I truly appreciate I️t and I understand your point of view

View Quoted Comment Thank you and thank you for understanding that. I obviously would have not felt right with not having my brothers stand that day, I understand I️t is groomsman and may be the grooms “side” but they are my brothers so of course I wanted them to be apart of the bridal party. I have been in bridal party for my sister in law’s and I felt the same way, yes the girl may have asked but I was standing up for my brother. That is a very cool idea to incorporate them into my bachelorette party. Thank you for your point of view

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Not a problem at all. Every family is different and if want all yours included there's nothing wrong with that. I truly hope you are able to figure out a solution that works for everyone.

View Quoted Comment It’s not your job to dictate who stands on his side. If you wanted your brothers in the wedding party, they should have stood on your side. You put your FH in a really uncomfortable position. I can understand why he doesn’t want them at his bachelor party, I wouldn’t either, but they should be included since they’re in the wedding.